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The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. 2MnX
Nowadays, it is argued that TV, media, and magazines spend a lot of notifications on the lives of well-known people such as actors and singers. Several people believe that they should devote more time to report ordinary peoples' lives instead. In my opinion, I agree that the media should focus more on documenting the lives of regular people instead of celebrities, due to their fascinating lives and talented skills. I believe that ordinary people should be noticed more than famous people, because they have plenty of positive effects on society. Furthermore, they have interesting lives, to illustrate, they are working hard to benefit their society, and be a role model for many people. Moreover, ordinary people continue to do a lot of charity and volunteer work, and they can influence various age groups. Unfortunately, no one knows them so that these ordinary people could become a good example to others. For example, my neighbor has many achievements in serving people and volunteering, he participates with charities, and then he travels to poor countries to distribute clothes, gifts and necessary supplies such as water and food. I always sit with him and enjoy talking, consequently he is a good example for me and changed both my life and my thinking for the better with his advice. However, I am sure that if he is known among people, he will start to change their minds and make them deal with life in a positive way and love benevolence. Regarding ordinary people who have talented skills, the media must pay too much attention to them, while they had a great accomplishment so that many people are also motivated by them. People who are far from the spotlight and fame usually have great skills. For instance, in their leisure time, ordinary people prefer to spend their time developing the skill of reading, playing, singing, writing scientific reports, and many more amazing things. Unlike celebrities, they don't have the time to develop their skills and spend time with themselves due to their busy life. Therefore, we must learn and know the secrets of gifted ordinary people and how they can control time and they are proficient in what they do. Consequently, they will influence the lives of the people in a wonderful way which will lead to a positive society with many creative people. In conclusion, I think it is a great idea to show how ordinary people live because they have fascinating lives and talents. Undoubtedly, most of them will change our lives for the better through their achievements that will motivate us.
Nowadays, it
is argued
that TV, media, and magazines spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
notifications on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as actors and singers. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they should devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
instead
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the media should focus more on documenting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of celebrities, due to their fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be noticed
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on society.
Furthermore
, they have interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, to illustrate, they are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to benefit their society, and be a role model for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
charity and volunteer work, and they can influence various age groups. Unfortunately, no one knows them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to others.
For example
, my neighbor has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
achievements in serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and volunteering, he participates with charities, and then he travels to poor countries to distribute clothes, gifts and necessary supplies such as water and food. I always sit with him and enjoy talking,
consequently
he is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
both my life and my thinking for the better with his advice.
However
, I am sure that if he
is known
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them deal with life in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
benevolence.

Regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, the media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay too much attention to them, while they had a great accomplishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
motivated by them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are far from the spotlight and fame
usually
have great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of reading, playing, singing, writing scientific reports, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more amazing things. Unlike celebrities, they don't have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with themselves due to their busy life.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn and know the secrets of gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and how they can control
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they are proficient in what they do.
Consequently
, they will influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider replacing "in a wonderful way" with the adverb for "wonderful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a wonderful way
which will lead to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
society with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and talents.
Undoubtedly
, most of them will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for the better through their achievements that will motivate us.
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IELTS essay The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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