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The Internet is often harmful, especially to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?At least 250 words

The Internet is often harmful, especially to young people. At least 250 words 6NkY8
In these days and age due to the development of technology, the dramatic increase in the use of the internet leads to a growing concern about its effect on children and teenagers who are sensitive to information. Some people think that young people can easily have bad behavior because of the massive amount of information that they access online which is hard to control and orientation. To a certain extent I agree that the Internet might be harmful to young people though it has a number of undeniable benefits. What stands out as my first justification is that the Internet is the cause of the Fear of missing out which is commonly known as FOMO. To be specific, the children might keep on checking all types of social media as they are anxious to become the last person to find out the news. As a consequence, they could not focus on studying or hang out with friends, and they run out of time. Take young people in Vietnam as a typical example, most of them have once slept during classes on account of sleepless nights of reading gossip or following a drama. Another observable reason is that young peopletend to build up their complex of inferiority by comparing their own life with other people on social media. The youths, especially teenagers, who are easily taken in by the optimistic posts on the internet, feel disappointed about themselves. For instance, many celebrities' posts about their luxury life including expensive rings, houses, or cars on the social media make their fan feel hopeless about themselves since they do not have this. In contrast to this, Internet as the biggest source of information can be used as free distance learning equipment. In most cases, students can find the answer to every problem on the Internet without paying. This is an undeniable fact when the world becomes more and more competitive, the person who is proactive in getting knowledge can stand a better chance in life. To recapitulate, there exist some harmful effects of the Internet like FOMO and inferiority complex whereas it also benefits young people. Personally, I think that the only way to reduce the harm and take their advantages is by teaching young people how to filter information and avoid all fake news.
In these days and age due to the development of technology, the dramatic increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet leads to a growing concern about its effect on children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who are sensitive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the massive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that they access online which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control and orientation. To a certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the Internet might be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
though it has a number of undeniable benefits.

What stands out as my
first
justification is that the Internet is the cause of the Fear of missing out which is
commonly
known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOMO
. To be specific, the children might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on checking all types of social media as they are anxious to become the last person to find out the news. As a consequence, they could not focus on studying or hang out with friends, and they run out of time. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Vietnam as a typical example, most of them have once slept during classes on account of sleepless nights of reading gossip or following a drama.

Another observable reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopletend
to build up their complex of inferiority by comparing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on social media. The youths,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, who are
easily
taken in by the optimistic posts on the internet, feel disappointed about themselves.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
celebrities' posts about their luxury life including expensive rings,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, or cars on the social media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their fan feel hopeless about themselves since they do not have this.

In contrast
to this, Internet as the biggest source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as free distance learning equipment.
In most cases
, students can find the answer to every problem on the Internet without paying. This is an undeniable fact when the world becomes more and more competitive, the person who is proactive in getting knowledge can stand a better chance in life.

To recapitulate, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful effects of the Internet like
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOMO
and inferiority complex whereas it
also
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harm and take their advantages is by teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to filter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and avoid all fake news.
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IELTS essay The Internet is often harmful, especially to young people. At least 250 words

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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