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The internet has brought a sea changes in the way information is shared and consumed,but it has also create problems that did not exist before. what are the most serious linked to the internet and what solutions can you suggest ?

The internet has brought a sea changes in the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also create problems that did not exist before. what are the most serious linked to the internet and what solutions can you suggest? 525EB
Nowadays every one depends on internet and it is a part of life and they depend on it. It is observe that due to send or recive information on internet become a issue these days. There are major aspects related this which is discussd in upcoming paragrapg. To start with firstly problems, every country use the internet on the rate of high volume on daily bases which is common for all of them but due to the highe frequency ways it effacts on peolpe healths and it also effect on birds. For example, as it is observe that after the launching of 4G network the small bords is distinusih. The rays effect on Birds mind and thir hart. Secondaly, the seiver crime rate are increasing day by day and humans are traped by hakers by loss their money. because every social platform run on internet and haker take the advantages of loopholes of the system. On the othe hand, in the previous time authoritys recorde their date in the company books on paper and now the shif to the online platform which is connected with internet and hakers is user the advantage of this thins. What companies need to do that they have to increase the security system of servers with tghe help of highe privacy. While humans need to use the low frequency ways of internet so that it will not effect on birds. if people want to use the internet they can use it on a limited are so it did not effect on all over the atmospher. To conclude, the internet is a very brode server which help to transfer the information in few minuets and it is very useful resources in nowdays so we have to use it very carefull for our safety
Nowadays every one depends on internet and it is a part of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they depend on it. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "observed".
observe
that due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
recive
information on internet become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
issue these days. There are major aspects related this which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
discussd
in upcoming
Possible spelling mistake found.
paragrapg
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
firstly
problems, every country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet on the rate of high volume on daily bases which is common for all of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
highe
frequency ways it
Possible spelling mistake found.
effacts
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
peolpe
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
and it
also
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
on birds.
For example
, as it is
Consider using a past participle here: "observed".
observe
that after the launching of 4G network the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Possible spelling mistake found.
bords
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
distinusih
. The rays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on Birds mind and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thir
hart.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondaly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
seiver
crime rate are increasing day by day and humans are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "trapped", the past tense form of the verb 'trap'?
traped
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
hakers
by loss their money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
every social platform run on internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
haker
take the advantages of loopholes of the system.

On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
othe
hand, in the previous time
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "authorities", the plural form of the noun 'authority'?
authoritys
Possible spelling mistake found.
recorde
their date in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
books on paper and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
shif
to the online platform which
is connected
with internet and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hakers
is user the advantage of this thins. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
need to do that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase the security system of servers with
Possible spelling mistake found.
tghe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
highe
privacy. While humans need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the low frequency ways of internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on birds.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it on a limited are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it did not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on all over the
Possible spelling mistake found.
atmospher
.

To conclude
, the internet is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
brode
server which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to transfer the information in few
Did you mean "minutes"?
minuets
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful resources in nowdays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
carefull
for our safety
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IELTS essay The internet has brought a sea changes in the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also create problems that did not exist before. what are the most serious linked to the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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