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The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap? OVVmM
For harmony to prevail there needs to be parity between the privileged circumstances that different nations across the globe share. However, currently it has been observed that the economic imbalance between the affluent and the third world countries is at its zenith. Out of the numerous reasons and bridging measures, in this essay I will list and explain a few significant ones in detail. The lack of parity between these two worlds can primarily be blamed on the unequal distribution of natural resources. Mother earth has been kind to some nations in terms of the riches she has blessed them with. Owing to this geographical positioning some countries enjoy her financial kindness while others don’t. For example, the Middle Eastern belt of the world naturally stocks more than 2/3rds of the global oil reserves; a sure shot way for the nation to grow financially. Another reason I believe for this wide gap is the size of the population in underdeveloped states. More often than not populace in these areas is huge thereby adding up to their financial woes. The possibility of bridging this gap, even though tough, is not an impossible task. To begin with, the 1st world countries need to provide support to the underdeveloped ones. This help should not only be f nancial in nature but also towards sharing of knowledge, information, and technical know-how amongst others. Further, the poor nations can do well by helping themselves. Corruption is one of the major barriers that does not let them succeed. The people in positions of power in these countries need to realize the fact that corruption at all levels needs to be stopped if they wish to grow. To conclude, the imparity between riches shared by nations and the size of the inhabitants in the poor nations are the main reasons for this widening gap between rich and poor states, while appropriate assistance from the blessed nations and eradication of corrupt practices are the relevant steps that can be taken to fill up this ever increasing void.
For harmony to prevail there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be parity between the privileged circumstances that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
across the globe share.
However
,
currently
it has
been observed
that the economic imbalance between the affluent and the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is at its zenith. Out of the numerous reasons and bridging measures, in this essay I will list and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
a few significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in detail.

The lack of parity between these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worlds
can
primarily
be blamed
on the unequal distribution of natural resources. Mother earth has been kind to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in terms of the riches she has blessed them with. Owing to this geographical positioning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enjoy her financial kindness while others don’t.
For example
, the Middle Eastern belt of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
naturally
stocks more than 2/3rds of the global oil reserves; a sure shot way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to grow
financially
. Another reason I believe for this wide gap is the size of the population

in underdeveloped states. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not populace in these areas is huge thereby adding up to their financial woes.

The possibility of bridging this gap,
even though
tough, is not an impossible task. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the 1st
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to provide support to the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be f
Possible spelling mistake found.
nancial
in nature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
towards sharing of knowledge, information, and technical know-how amongst others.
Further
, the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can do well by helping themselves. Corruption is one of the major barriers that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them succeed. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in positions of power in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to realize the fact that corruption at all levels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
if they wish to grow.

To conclude
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
imparity
between riches shared by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and the size of the inhabitants in the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are the main reasons for this widening gap between rich and poor states, while appropriate assistance from the blessed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and eradication of corrupt practices are the relevant steps that can
be taken
to fill up this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
void.
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IELTS essay The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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