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The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. ea9O
It is certainly true that having a one career is becoming an old fashion one. Nowadays, people would like to have multiple careers to earn money to lead successful life and also to do their further studies. To start with, In the past, people had single career but it has changing in recent years. In this twenty first century, people who have single career can not earn more, so they keen to do multiple career to fulfill their needs. As an evidence, people who work for governments have more leisure time compared to others, so they are engaging themselves with other careers to earn lot. In my point of view, having multiple career assists people to good in time management and also obtain experience. Secondly, some people would like to have multiple career to take their high studies in the future which helps to save their earnings for their studies. Likewise, others are engaging with multiple career to earn money; for example, people who work in private jobs that they tend to do own business because they do not have any guarantee about their jobs. Private company will terminate employee without any reason due to their economic so the people would like to do multiple jobs to manage themselves in this critical situation. To sum up, nowadays, people are keen to have multiple career rather than single career, which helps people in different ways to have better life in this world.
It is
certainly
true that having a one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is becoming an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion one. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
money to lead successful life and
also
to do their
further
studies.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has changing in recent years. In this twenty
first
century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they keen to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
to fulfill their needs. As an evidence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have more leisure time compared to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are engaging themselves with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
lot. In my point of view, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in time management and
also
obtain experience.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
to take their high studies in the future which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to save their earnings for their studies.
Likewise
, others are engaging with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
money;
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in private jobs that they tend to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have any guarantee about their jobs. Private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will terminate employee without any reason due to their economic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
jobs to manage themselves in this critical situation.

To sum up, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
rather
than single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to have better life in this world.
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IELTS essay The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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