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the history about putri island

the history about putri island LqA6R
There is a unique story circulating on Putri Island. This story is about the origin of Putri Island itself. This story can be believed or not, this story mentions that there was a dragon who was very sound asleep so he overslept and could not cross to Malaysia. So it changed for a long time and gradually became an island. Therefore at low tide, this island looks like the shape of a dragon. Another story that is quite famous is the story of the existence of a very beautiful princess who always asks for a sacrifice. And the victim was a man who was still a virgin. So there are several news reports that many youths died there because they were swept away by the waves or drowned. But regardless of whether the story is true or not, considering that we must be careful and vigilant when swimming in the high seas. Moreover, the beach on Putri Island is already famous for having very strong waves.
There is a unique
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story
circulating on
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Putri
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Island
. This
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story
is about the origin of
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Putri
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Island
itself. This
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story
can
be believed
or not, this
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story
mentions that there was a dragon who was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sound asleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he overslept and could not cross to Malaysia.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for a long time and
gradually
became an
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island
.
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Therefore
at low tide, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
looks like the shape of a dragon. Another
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story
that is
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
of the existence of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
princess who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asks for
a sacrifice. And the victim was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who was
still
a virgin.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are several news reports that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were swept
away by the waves or drowned.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
regardless of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
is true or not, considering that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful and vigilant when swimming in the high seas.
Moreover
, the beach on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Putri
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
is already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong waves.
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IELTS essay the history about putri island

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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