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It is often argued that earning lots of money has more significance to people than being content in their work. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that earning lots of money has more significance to people than being content in their work. QMArw
It is often argued that earning lots of money has more significance to people than being content in their work. This essay totally disagrees with that statement. Firstly, this essay will discuss the fact that people are increasingly concerned about the risks of stress-related ill- health experienced by individuals in highly paid positions and secondly discuss how they care more about feeling fulfilled at work First of all. I believe that Employees earning a large income are generally under significant mental and emotional pressure to perform well and achieve targets What I mean by this is that This causes many individuals to suffer high levels of stress which can result in both mental and physical One striking example is that This happened to my uncle who used to boast about his huge salary but the boss kept increasing his sales targets and in the end, the stress became too great and he had a nervous breakdown. Now he regrets being driven by the money. That's why it's more important to choose the kind of work that makes vou happy than to look only at a high salary. Another point to consider is that, Having a job that they enjoy doing, and in which they feel valued, is a major concern for most of the modern workforce. In other words, A significant number of people are giving up well-paid positions to do jobs which pay less but that they findimore enjoyable and less stressful. This is clearly illustrated by the fact tlhat a gear ago I left the teaching profession because the workload had become toogreat and l am now a gardener. I feel really fulfilled in this work and I am much more relaxed and happy even though I earn far less money Thus, advantages of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low salary in a long-term perspective. To conclude, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than high salary because of negative effects of work-related stress and the desire to feel happy and fulfilled at work
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that earning lots of money has more significance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than being content in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay
totally
disagrees with that statement.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
increasingly
concerned about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related ill- health experienced by individuals in
highly
paid positions and
secondly
discuss how they care more about feeling fulfilled at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
. I believe that Employees earning a large income are
generally
under significant mental and emotional pressure to perform well and achieve targets What I mean by this is that This causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals to suffer high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
which can result in both mental and physical One striking example is that This happened to my uncle who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to boast about his huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the boss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
increasing his sales targets and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
became too
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
great and
he had a nervous breakdown.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he regrets
being driven
by the money. That's why it's more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to choose the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Possible spelling mistake found.
vou
happy than to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. Another point to consider is that, Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they enjoy doing, and in which they feel valued, is a major concern for most of the modern workforce.
In other words
, A significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are giving up well-paid positions to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which pay less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that they
Possible spelling mistake found.
findimore
enjoyable and less stressful. This is
clearly
illustrated by the fact
Possible spelling mistake found.
tlhat
a gear ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the teaching profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the workload had become
Possible spelling mistake found.
toogreat
and l am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a gardener. I feel
really
fulfilled in this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
I am much more relaxed and happy
even though
I earn far less money
Thus
, advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
The usual preposition for "perspective" is "from" not "in." "from a long-term perspective".
in a long-term perspective
.
To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is more beneficial than high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of work-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and the desire to feel happy and fulfilled at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work
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IELTS essay It is often argued that earning lots of money has more significance to people than being content in their work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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