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The growth of online shopping has greatly improved life for the consumer.Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion.

The growth of online shopping has greatly improved life for the consumer. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion. l6lQ
These days, it is widely believed that well organized online shopping is considered to be beneficial owing to the fact it provides an opportunity to make our life more convenient in comparison with two decades ago. In spite of the fact that there are numerous positives brought by the new possibility of obtaining items, other people may experience serious drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my personal point of view. First, it is thought by a handful of people that using renewed methods such as online shopping can significantly affect the way individuals make their own hours. Meanwhile, an increasing number of people tend to opt to order goods from anywhere in the world, due to the fact that modern applications enable many individuals to get desired item, while people who prefer to purchase offline should have to be content with what they have and utilize obsolete methods and, as a result, they will waste a lot of time, in comparison with people who buy online. Moreover, according to the research which was conducted in 2020 journalists detected that nowadays 52% of citizens prefer to buy online because it would be more beneficial to apply new apps rather than wasting approximately 4, 5 hour a week for shopping. Notwithstanding that the majority of senior people find it arduous and adverse to use such websites due to the fact that it is plain sailing for them to go for the department store in order to purchase products, instead of learning how to apply Wildberries and etc. It is worth mentioning that, older people are convinced that such kinds of apps could seriously affect adolescents' eyesight owing to the fact that they spend an excessive amount of time by using various websites in order to purchase something, whereas it could lead to impaired vision problems. As an illustration, it has been already conducted that a plethora of teenagers today should have to wear glasses or lenses, while a few decades ago only 15% used to wear glasses. In conclusion, there are both positives and negatives of improved online services which gives us a chance to save our time, In spite of this, many people think that it is challenging and harmful for our eyesight. Personally, I reckon that advantages prevail over all disadvantages.
These days, it is
widely
believed that well organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
is considered
to be beneficial owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
it provides an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more convenient
in comparison
with two decades ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that there are numerous positives brought by the new possibility of obtaining items, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may experience serious drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my personal point of view.

First
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that using renewed methods such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping can
significantly
affect the way individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hours. Meanwhile, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to opt to order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from anywhere in the world, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that modern applications enable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desired item, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
offline should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be content with what they have and utilize obsolete methods and,
as a result
, they will waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time,
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Moreover
, according to the research which
was conducted
in 2020 journalists detected that nowadays 52% of citizens prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be more beneficial to apply new apps
rather
than wasting approximately 4, 5
Possible agreement error. The noun 'hour' seems to be countable, so consider using: "hours".
hour
a week for shopping.

Notwithstanding that the majority of senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it arduous and adverse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such websites due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it is plain sailing for them to go for the department store in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
products,
instead
of learning how to apply
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wildberries
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. It is worth mentioning that, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are convinced
that such kinds of apps could
seriously
affect adolescents' eyesight owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they spend an excessive amount of time by using various websites in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
something, whereas it could lead to impaired vision problems. As an illustration, it has been already conducted that a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses or lenses, while a few decades ago
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear glasses.

In conclusion
, there are both positives and negatives of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services which gives us a chance to save our time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is challenging and harmful for our eyesight.
Personally
, I reckon that advantages prevail over all disadvantages.
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IELTS essay The growth of online shopping has greatly improved life for the consumer. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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