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The growing number of youth in a country- an advantage or a disadvantage?

The growing number of youth in a country- an advantage or a disadvantage? 7Wxdy
Globally it has been observed that the youth have been the pillars for leading any country to development and have proven to be useful for the betterment of a nation. However, not all share this opinion. Today I will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the same and present my opinion. A lion’s share of individuals around the world are young adults, their age ranging from 12 to 25 years. These individuals have greatly contributed to the financial flourishment of the country. Being young in age, they naturally have the physical capacity to perform strenuous tasks that would otherwise become difficult for a geriatric. They are energetic, curious and able to develop their own ambitions leading to their personal development, indirectly developing the society. They are flexible and easily accommodate to the belief systems prevalent around the globe. For example, it is easier for a youth to pursue a career in a different country as he/she can easily accept the belief systems and blend in with the native population. It also becomes easier for the youth to easily acquire a variety of skillsets. This makes it easier for them to acquire a job and make a living. The age-old orthodox beliefs are shunned by the young which allows room for change leading to development of the country and cross-cultural interaction. The young make it easy for people of various ethnicity to interact and blend in creating a socio-economical variety. However, not all share the same thought. Many are of the opinion that a growing number of youths in a society can be problematic. This can be explained due to mass-migrations, job sparsity and ultimately increased crime rates. Because of all the reasons listed above, I believe that an increase in young population will be beneficial to any country if an equally strong economy is made available.
Globally it has
been observed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
have been the pillars for leading any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to development and have proven to be useful for the betterment of a nation.
However
, not all share this opinion.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the same and present my opinion.

A lion’s share of individuals around the world are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults, their age ranging from 12 to 25 years. These individuals have
greatly
contributed to the financial
Possible spelling mistake found.
flourishment
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
in age, they
naturally
have the physical capacity to perform strenuous tasks that would
otherwise
become difficult for a geriatric.

They are energetic, curious and able to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ambitions leading to their personal development,
indirectly
developing the society. They are flexible and
easily
accommodate to the belief systems prevalent around the globe.
For example
, it is easier for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to pursue a career in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as he/she can
easily
accept the belief systems and blend in with the native population.

It
also
becomes easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to
easily
acquire a variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillsets
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for them to acquire a job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living. The age-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
orthodox beliefs
are shunned
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
room for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
leading to development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and cross-cultural interaction. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of various ethnicity to interact and blend in creating a
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economical
variety.

However
, not all share the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that a growing number of youths in a society can be problematic. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
due to mass-migrations, job sparsity and
ultimately
increased crime rates.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of all the reasons listed above, I believe that an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population will be beneficial to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if an
equally
strong economy
is made
available.
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IELTS essay The growing number of youth in a country- an advantage or a disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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