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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issue involved.Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical eduction lesson in the school curriculum.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In oreder to live in longer and better life in modern world, human invented and discovered plenty of tactics to tackle the possibility happen rate of diseases. In fact, as the technology progress and the environment of the nature has been improved, it is rare to be bothered by the diseases. However, there has another newly disease mainly interfere by the evolution of fast-food industries. Obesity and overweight often associate with the deadly human disease and the hard-cure medical situation. As a result, human deal with diseases also create diseases. The ambiguous modern world co-exist with various deadly and unavoidable medical condictions once people do not figure out the trick of human modern industry. The consistency of the treatment should not being blockage under any circumstances and there is no difficult skills to solve but only the spirit of strong will to quilify the treatments for the related problems of modern diseases. As the consquence, if there has no one feature processes to treat the problems of human diseases which cause by the malnutrition of diet, the improvement of the world would be eliminated and the advance of the medical field would be crashed down through the feature of the uncondictional situations for the man-made diseases. For those reasons, we could not to skip the diseases that contributed through the modern industry. The tactics, it is, indeed, not only imple by healthcare professionals, but also the public. The propagenda could be the major helper for enhancing the citizen concious of healy life style could elevate the whole country competitive power in the era of globalization. In terms of the true treatment needs the professional to convey the information always for the better life.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
oreder
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in longer and better life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
invented and discovered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of tactics to tackle the possibility happen rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. In fact, as the technology progress and the environment of the nature has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, it is rare to
be bothered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
However
, there has another
newly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
mainly
interfere by the evolution of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food industries. Obesity and overweight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associate with the deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-cure medical situation.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
also
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. The ambiguous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world co-exist with various deadly and unavoidable medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
condictions
once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not figure out the trick of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
industry. The consistency of the treatment should not being blockage under any circumstances and there is no difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the spirit of strong will to
Possible spelling mistake found.
quilify
the treatments for the related problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. As the
Possible spelling mistake found.
consquence
, if there has no one feature processes to treat the problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
which cause by the malnutrition of diet, the improvement of the world would
be eliminated
and the advance of the medical field would
be crashed
down through the feature of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncondictional
situations for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. For those reasons, we could not to skip the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
that contributed through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
industry. The tactics, it is,
indeed
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
imple
by healthcare professionals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the public. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
propagenda
could be the major helper for enhancing the citizen
Possible spelling mistake found.
concious
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
healy
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
could elevate the whole country competitive power in the era of globalization. In terms of the true treatment needs the professional to convey the information always for the better life.
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IELTS essay The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical eduction lesson in the school curriculum.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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