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The graph shows the recruitment of teachers who teaches English and French in Ontario between 2001 and 2007

The graph shows the recruitment of teachers who teaches English and French in Ontario between 2001 and 2007 nxn5n
The graph shows the recruitment of teachers who teaches English and French in Ontario between 2001 and 2007. According to the data, French has increased in popularity in the year 2007. On the other hand, the trend for English is the opposite. between 2001 to 2021, the percentages of the two languages were not much different. Later in the year 2003, the percentage of the recruitment of teachers who teaches French was 69 percent, compared to 41 percent who teaches English. So there was a significant difference in number since 2003. In the year 2007, French is 75 percent which is the most in 6 years period But English is dropped to just under 30 percent. Overall, It can be seen that more recruitment of teachers who teaches French after the year 2002 and continue to increase each year as opposed to the percentage of teachers who teaches English.
The graph
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shows
the recruitment of
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teachers
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
English and French in Ontario between 2001 and 2007. According to the data, French has increased in popularity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007.
On the other hand
, the trend for English is the opposite.

Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2001 and 2021".
between 2001 to 2021
, the percentages of the two languages were not much
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different
. Later in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003, the percentage of the recruitment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
French was 69 percent, compared to 41 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
English.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there was a significant difference in number since 2003. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2007, French is 75 percent which is the most in 6 years period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
English
is dropped
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 30 percent.

Overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that more recruitment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
French after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 and continue to increase each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as opposed to the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
English.
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IELTS essay The graph shows the recruitment of teachers who teaches English and French in Ontario between 2001 and 2007

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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