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The graph below shows the quantiies of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. v.1

The graph below shows the quantiies of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. v. 1
Various courses are found in an educational institution's curriculum, ranging from subjects that border on historical events to the ones centralised around science. Some people are of the opinion that learning about historic events are more important than technological innovations, while others think otherwise. This essay will discuss these two views and also argue why it is better to take science-related lectures in school. Some people think learning history is more important than science. Admittedly, knowing about our historical timeline means knowing our past which is more or less our identity, without which we lose our identity. A nation whose past is eroded is without an identity; hence, it is quite important to understand past events. In addition, the absence of the knowledge about previous events makes it more likely that we repeat past mistakes. An old saying goes like this, " A nation that knows where it is coming from never go amiss". Therefore, in order to prevent future mistakes, it is essential that we include and teach students history courses. However, others, including myself, think it is much more important to teach specialised subjects in science. First, science and technology single-handedly brought us out from the stone age into this current age. With these courses and specialists in these fields, we can boast of innovative machineries like automobiles, airplanes and sky scrappers. In the absence of these courses, we automatically revert to the stone age, where we lived as cave men. Furthermore, science is one of the main reasons why humanity is yet to be wiped out. For instance, the ongoing corona virus disease pandemic. Because of technology, the causative agent of the disease was discovered and potential treatments as well as vaccines are currently being researched. Also, diagnostic tests are carried out in real-time to determine the presence or absence of the virus in individuals. These and many more will be impossible without the experts who were trained in this field. In light of this, it is my opinion that technology-based courses are more important than its counterpart. In conclusion, there is a wide range of courses being taught in schools. Some people believe that history is more important than science while others think in the opposite direction. This essay discussed these two perspectives and argued why it is more important to teach science-based lectures in educational institutions.
Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are found
in an educational institution's curriculum, ranging from subjects that border on historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to the ones
Possible spelling mistake. 'centralised' is British English.
centralised
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that learning about historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than technological innovations, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
otherwise
. This essay will discuss these two views and
also
argue why it is better to take science-related lectures in school.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
learning history is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
Admittedly
, knowing about our historical timeline means knowing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
which is more or less our identity, without which we lose our identity. A nation whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is eroded
is without an identity;
hence
, it is quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
In addition
, the absence of the knowledge about previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more likely that we repeat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes. An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying goes like this,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
A nation that knows where it is coming from never go amiss
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
future mistakes, it is essential that we include and teach students history courses.

However
, others, including myself,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to teach
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
subjects in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology single-
handedly
brought us out from the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
stone age
into this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
age. With these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and specialists in these fields, we can boast of innovative
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
like automobiles, airplanes and sky scrappers. In the absence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, we
automatically
revert to the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
stone age
, where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
as cave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is one of the main reasons why humanity is
yet
to
be wiped
out.
For instance
, the ongoing
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
disease pandemic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of technology, the causative agent of the disease
was discovered
and potential treatments
as well
as vaccines are
currently
being researched
.
Also
, diagnostic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are carried
out in real-time to determine the presence or absence of the virus in individuals. These and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more will be impossible without the experts who
were trained
in this field. In light of this, it is my opinion that technology-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than its counterpart.

In conclusion
, there is a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
being taught
in schools.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that history is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
in the opposite direction. This essay discussed these two perspectives and argued why it is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to teach science-based lectures in educational institutions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the quantiies of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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