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Nowadays children spend more time on screens. What are the causes and solutions?

Nowadays children spend more time on screens. What are the causes and solutions? lL17w
Numerous children spend a long time on electronic devices: mobile phone, laptop, tablet, television, and more, which affect their mental and physical health and their relationship with other people in society. The main causes of these problems is high attention, and this can be solved by parents encouraging their children. To begin with, technology items drew huge attention from children. Smartphones, televisions, and computers have many programs, such as games, video, and more, and also have attractive sound, special effects, and images, providing happiness to children. They can have fun by sitting and spending all day on screens without boring. Therefore, the special thing on screens makes children spend a long period of time on screens. Along with this, parents have an important role to solve problem by teaching their children. They should encourage their children on how to use technology devices in the right way: use for studying and communication, and tell them the negative impact of childrens’ lives: worse health, lower grade, and more. Parents should talk to them with fact and show good hopness, managing childrens’ time to do other activities together. Therefore, children will be more understanding about how to use electronic items by parents’ teaching. All in all, more and more children are likely to spend time on screens which have many enjoy choices, and these problems can be solved by parents’ teaching. If children continue to use too much on the telephone, they will grow up with health problems and affect their future lives.
Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on electronic devices: mobile phone, laptop, tablet, television, and more, which affect their mental and physical health and their relationship with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society. The main causes of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is high attention, and this can
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encouraging their children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, technology items drew huge attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Smartphones, televisions, and computers have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs, such as games, video, and more, and
also
have attractive sound, special effects, and images, providing happiness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They can have fun by sitting and spending all day on screens without boring.
Therefore
, the special thing on screens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on screens.

Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They should encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology devices in the right way:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for studying and communication, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
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childrens
’
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lives
: worse health, lower grade, and more.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should talk to them with fact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
hopness
, managing
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do other activities together.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more understanding about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic items by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
teaching.

All in all, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on screens which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
enjoy choices, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be solved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
teaching. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too much on the telephone, they will grow up with health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and affect their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children spend more time on screens. What are the causes and solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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