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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. What to extend do you agree?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. What to extend do you agree? jy6a
There have some arguments that high authority need to focus on fundamental rights of citizens rather misusing miney on extra - curriculum sectirs. I have a mixed openion on the statement. This eassy will firstly discuss the importance of those cultural sites and theb explain about investing money on public needs. To hold a Nations cultural and traditional roots, it is essential to practice the involvement with art, music and treatre. The reason is that, for the development of technology and media, it is quite easy to influence by other western culture and forget about own culture; however, it doesn't mean that they will go lack to development. Japan is the most appropriate example for this where administrations are doing great work on balancing their culture and world tradition. Moreover, they also encourage people to learn their language as they believe that it is the best way to widen their culture. Arts, traditional music and traditional play can make the best possible opportunity. On the other hand, allocating money on citizens needs like fundamental right is cruisial. If a country can not make satisfy their people, it is unquestionable to use that money on other development. Furthermore, education, medical health are more important than that. For instance, looking to the South Korea and North Korea, both neighbouring countries trying to keep their ancient roots but North Korea does not take any steps to satisfy it's belongings and they really lag behind the developments. To recapitulate, in my opinion there should be a balance investment on both sectors.
There have
some
arguments that high authority need to focus on fundamental rights of citizens
rather
misusing
miney
on extra
-
curriculum
sectirs
. I have a mixed
openion
on the statement. This
eassy
will
firstly
discuss the importance of those cultural sites and
theb
explain
about investing money on public needs.

To hold a Nations cultural and traditional roots, it is essential to practice the involvement with art, music and
treatre
. The reason is that, for the development of technology and media, it is quite easy to influence by other western
culture
and forget about
own
culture
;
however
, it doesn't mean that they will go lack to development. Japan is the most appropriate example for this where administrations are doing great work on balancing their
culture
and world tradition.
Moreover
, they
also
encourage
people
to learn their language as they believe that it is the best way to widen their
culture
. Arts, traditional music and traditional play can
make
the best possible opportunity.

On the other hand
, allocating money on citizens needs like fundamental right is
cruisial
. If a country can not
make
satisfy their
people
, it is unquestionable to
use
that money on other development.
Furthermore
, education, medical health are more
important
than that.
For instance
, looking to the South Korea and North Korea, both
neighbouring
countries trying to
keep
their ancient roots
but
North Korea does not take any steps
to satisfy it's belongings
and they
really
lag behind the developments.

To recapitulate, in my opinion there should be a balance investment on both sectors.
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IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. What to extend do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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