Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The government’s allocation of funds in arts, music and theatre is worthless. It should rather promote public service. I somewhat disagree with this ascertion. Both sectors needs to be developed. To start with, art music and theatre restores and promotes our culture. It is the best way to pass on valuea to the tough generations. Moreover, with the effects of tourism, art exhibition and local music will help maintain people’s cultural values and behaviour. Furthermore, music is a tool in relaxation techniques. Studies have revealed that the majority of people listens to songs when they are stressed. Also it has been effective in some nursing homes to reduce the level of anxiety for the elderly. Therefore, the music art and theatre industry needs to be promoted. On the other hand, more funds should be directed to the health and education sectors. Ther is an urgent need in improving the hospital condition due to the influx of patients admissions since the coronavirus. Employment of more health care workers is required to manage the ongoing pandemic. However, the education system has also been affected by the crisis. There is a need to provision of hand sanitizers, masks and soap in schools in order to reduce the spread of the virus. Also the introduction of online studies needs to be a dressed. In conclusion, the government is wasting money by promoting the art, music and theatre. It should rather allocate those funds to the public sector. I somewhat disagree with this opinion. , there should still be development of art, theatre and music since it helps restore the culture and help in stress management. However, more money is needed in education and health division to help manage the COVID. 19 crisis.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s allocation of funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
is worthless. It should
rather
promote public service. I somewhat disagree with this
Possible spelling mistake found.
ascertion
. Both sectors
You should probably use “need”.
needs
to
be developed
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
restores and promotes our culture. It is the best way to pass on
Possible spelling mistake found.
valuea
to the tough generations.
Moreover
, with the effects of tourism,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibition and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s cultural values and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a tool in relaxation techniques. Studies have revealed that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
listens to songs when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it has been effective in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nursing homes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of anxiety for the elderly.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be promoted
.

On the other hand
, more funds should
be directed
to the health and education sectors.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ther
is an urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
in improving the hospital condition due to the influx of patients admissions since the coronavirus. Employment of more health care workers
is required
to manage the ongoing pandemic.
However
, the education system has
also
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the crisis. There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to provision of hand sanitizers, masks and soap in schools in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the spread of the virus.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the introduction of online studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to be
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a dressed
.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is wasting money by promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
. It should
rather
allocate those funds to the public sector. I somewhat disagree with this opinion.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma.
,
there should
still
be development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatre’ is British English.
theatre
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
since it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
restore the culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
management.
However
, more money
is needed
in education and health division to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
manage the
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
COVID
. 19 crisis.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts