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The government's investment in arts is a waste of money.Some people think that it should invest in public services instead

The government's investment in arts is a waste of money. Some people think that it should invest in public services instead mWW7d
Many people claim that the government's budget is utilized for the public services instead of the art such as music, theatre and cinema. To certain extent I agree that public services must be invested. However, I also think that spending on the art is not waste of money. Admittedly, there are various reasons for the investment of the government in the public services. First of all, public services include hospitals, transports and schools and these services determine the quality of the country's life. For instance, if the medicine is not ensured with enough budget, the health of the society will decrease. In the same way, if the government does not invest in the schools, the education may not improve and the children are not taught properly. Because educated individual can educate others in a right way. As well as, the condition of the public may be poor if we do not spend enough money on these things which are connected with our every day life. However, the art should not disregarded. Because It also plays the essentional role in soceity. When people go to the theatre, cinema and museums, they are able to get high pleasure through watching amusing performences. On the other hand, without some help of the government theatres and other such kind of places may have to close. It is complicated for myriad art instutions to get improve by themselves. Hence, the government supports these instutions so that they can go on providing breathtaking performences to the people. In conclusion, to invest in the public services adequatedly is beneficial because this influences the quality of the life. As had been noted, I do not believe that to fulfill the art with enough budget is waste of money as that provide essintional merits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's budget
is utilized
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
such as music,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and cinema. To certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be invested
.
However
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not waste of money.

Admittedly
, there are various reasons for the investment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
include hospitals, transports and schools and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
determine the quality of the country's life.
For instance
, if the medicine is not ensured with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget, the health of the society will decrease.
In the same way
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not invest in the schools, the education may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and the children are not taught
properly
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
educated individual can educate others
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
.
As well
as, the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
may be poor if we do not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money on these things which
are connected
with our every day life.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "disregard"
disregarded
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
It
also
plays the
Possible spelling mistake found.
essentional
role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
soceity
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, cinema and museums, they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high pleasure through watching amusing
Possible spelling mistake found.
performences
.
On the other hand
, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and other such kind of places may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close. It
is complicated
for myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Possible spelling mistake found.
instutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
by themselves.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
supports these
Possible spelling mistake found.
instutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can go on providing breathtaking
Possible spelling mistake found.
performences
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, to invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Possible spelling mistake found.
adequatedly
is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this influences the quality of the life. As had
been noted
, I do not believe that to fulfill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
budget is waste of money as that provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
essintional
merits.
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IELTS essay The government's investment in arts is a waste of money. Some people think that it should invest in public services instead

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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