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The government wants to fund the following to improve children’s education: • hire more teachers to teach in a small class • provide preschool education before kindergarten • provide some training courses so that teachers can be more professional

The government wants to fund the following to improve children’s education: • hire more teachers to teach in a small class • provide preschool education before kindergarten • provide some training courses so that teachers can be more professional 5ElQ
In ancient times, people were responsible for teaching various knowledge to their children, as well as personality aspects of their lives. However, in today's world, people are so busy to take all these responsibilities. Therefore, teachers' role has been increasing in children's future. An unavoidable question about teaching is which way is better to spend government funds to improve children's education. I personally believe that the government should provide some training courses to make teachers more professional, causing to extend children's education. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explain in the following essay. First of all, it is necessary to mention that training courses will improve professional teachers' knowledge, helping students to gain in-depth knowledge about lessons. Obviously, if teachers attend some extra training courses, they will learn with their trainers and colleagues. In other words, it is a good situation to exchange their information and gain sufficient knowledge. Therefore, students can easily solve their educational problems in the class as their teachers have enough knowledge. In contrast, students are more stressed out when their teachers do not have enough knowledge, and they are afraid of asking their questions. Take my personal experience as an example. When I was a ten-year-old child, I had some mathematic challenges, which caused me to get upset, but with one of my professional teachers' help, I got in-depth knowledge in math in just a couple of months. Another noteworthy point that supports my perspective is associated with the fact that teachers in some training courses learn the modern teaching methods, which cause to improve students' education. Because of the development of technologies, state-of-art teaching methods have been developing, which help teachers teach students efficiently. Obviously, because of today's children's significant genius, the conventional methods will not be effective, and it is a must for teachers to employ some modern methods to gain students' attention more and more. In other words, current children can easily express their ideas, so teachers' abilities to control the class and transfer the knowledge are keys to have effective outcomes. Based on statistics, teachers who benefit from new methods during their teaching have more successful classes than their counterparts who apply old methods. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the government should invest in training teachers through some extra courses, which helps them to be more professional because of two main reasons. Because of the insightful knowledge of professional teachers, as well as their state-of-art teaching techniques, they can improve student education properly.
In ancient times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to their children,
as well
as personality aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy to take all these responsibilities.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers'
role has been increasing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
future. An unavoidable question about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
is which way is better to spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
, causing
Did you mean "extending"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is necessary to mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain in-depth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about lessons.
Obviously
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
attend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, they will learn with their trainers and colleagues.
In other words
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation to exchange their information and gain sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
solve their educational problems in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, and they are afraid of asking their questions. Take my personal experience as an example. When I was a ten-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mathematic challenges, which caused me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
upset,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
in-depth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in math in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a couple of months.

Another noteworthy point that supports my perspective
is associated
with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
learn the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
, which cause to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the development of technologies, state-of-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
have been developing, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
efficiently
.
Obviously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
significant genius, the conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
will not be effective, and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to employ
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to gain students' attention more and more.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
children can
easily
express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers'
abilities to control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and transfer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
are keys to have effective outcomes. Based on statistics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who benefit from new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
have more successful classes than their counterparts who apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
methods.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the insightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
as well
as their state-of-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
techniques, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
properly
.

IELTS essay The government wants to fund the following to improve children’s education: • hire more teachers to teach in a small class • provide preschool education before kindergarten • provide some training courses so that teachers can be more professional

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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