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the government spending money in the education or recreation and sport in spending money

the government spending money in the education or recreation and sport in spending money BLJ3a
The governments are an institution or a system made of a group of people that takes care or manages a country or a state. Therefore, they spend money on the various sectors and the amount of the money depends on the importance of the sector for example if we discuss about the education or recreation and sport in spending money. I will agree that education need more money. In this essay, I will clarify my opinion. In one hand, governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. That due to numerous reasons. In addition, because education benefits an economy in the long term, it has social benefits, it is a human right, and it is more costly than recreation and sport. To illustrate the ministry of education try to find the best solutions for the students from a generation to another, which is their right, by finding the buildings and their services. for example the transportations. More over the teachers who can teach. The students and give them the knowledge in the best ways with high quality process. In the other hand, the sport and recreation are critical too but less people do it than education and then it spend less money. Moreover, this sector if we search about it, we will find that there are many groups and clubs and they participate in the competitions and all the money will be used in the clubs by providing the main components. At the end, we can say that each sector have it importance and the government will divide the invests depending on the plans and strategic they follow
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are an institution or a system made of a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that takes care or manages a country or a state.
Therefore
, they spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
and the amount of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
depends on the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
for example
if we
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In this essay, I will clarify my opinion.

In one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. That due to numerous reasons.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
benefits an economy in the long term, it has social benefits, it is a human right, and it is more costly than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. To illustrate the ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
try to find the best solutions for the students from a generation to another, which is their right, by finding the buildings and their services.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example the transportations. More over the teachers who can teach. The students and give them the knowledge in the best ways with high quality process.

In the other hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recreation
are critical too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do it than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and then it
Did you mean "spends"?
spend
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
if we search about it, we will find that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clubs and
they participate in the competitions and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the clubs by providing the main components.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, we can say that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
have it importance and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will divide the invests depending on the plans and strategic they follow
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IELTS essay the government spending money in the education or recreation and sport in spending money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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