Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The government should offer free prenatal classes for expecting parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The government should offer free prenatal classes for expecting parents. v. 1
It is argued that parents-to-be should be given a parenting class of no cost which is provided by the government. I strongly agree with this statement because many parents are first-timers with no familial support and this will help them without financial burden. Many young parents need parenting classes because they are inexperienced and they do not have support from the family as compared before. In the past, grandparents usually teach and guide those family members who are about to become parents to ensure a safe pregnancy, complication-free birth and effective parenting. But now, the family unit is composed of mainly nuclear members where no support received from the extended family and causes additional stress to expectant parents. This is one of the reasons why it is beneficial if states should provide parenting courses. For example, a recent study conducted in the Philippines found that 55% attended prenatal sessions in 2018 because they have no familial support as compared with 15% in 1990. Many parents that need government support come from backgrounds where finances are tight. This is to say that they cannot afford to enrol to such classes because their resources are limited. The money that they have will be allotted to more important things which are essential in life, such as food, shelter, and clothing. If the state will provide free prenatal courses, expectant mothers and fathers will be able to participate without having any financial problem. As a result, a huge number of parents will be attracted to attend this course, especially those who belong to the low socioeconomic group. For instance, the Department of Health in our country conducts free parenting lesson in poor areas every month. In conclusion, classes about parenthood should be offered freely by the states to the parents-to-be because the vast majority of them are first-timers and do not receive any assistance from extended family and this can help them without spending money.
It
is argued
that parents-to-be should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of no cost which
is provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
first
-timers with no familial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them without financial burden.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
inexperienced and
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as compared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In the past, grandparents
usually
teach and guide those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members who are about to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to ensure a safe pregnancy, complication-free birth and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit
is composed
of
mainly
nuclear members where no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
received from the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and causes additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to expectant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This is one of the reasons why it is beneficial if states should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses.
For example
, a recent study conducted in the Philippines found that 55% attended prenatal sessions in 2018
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no familial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
as compared with 15% in 1990.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from backgrounds where finances are tight. This is to say that they cannot afford to enrol to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their resources
are limited
. The money that they have will
be allotted
to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things which are essential in life, such as food, shelter, and clothing. If the state
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will provide
free prenatal courses, expectant mothers and fathers will be able to participate without having any financial problem.
As a result
, a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
be attracted
to attend this course,
especially
those who belong to the low socioeconomic group.
For instance
, the Department of Health in our country conducts free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
lesson in poor areas every month.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
about parenthood should
be offered
freely
by the states to the parents-to-be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the vast majority of them are
first
-timers and do not receive any assistance from extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them without spending money.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should offer free prenatal classes for expecting parents. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts