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The government investment in Arts music and theatre is a waste of money to stop government should invest their fund in public services in Surat do what extent do you agree and disagree

The government investment in Arts music and theatre is a waste of money to stop government should invest their fund in public services in Surat do what extent do you agree and disagree qQ2pG
Nowadays, few people argue that government should spend money on public facilities rather than investing on arts music and movie theatres. I largely agree with the said notion due to public roads are damaged and remove traffic in road. To commence, with the views of disagreement that some believe that entertainment is the main. In other word, numerous people are working in different hectic places for their relaxation, authorities have to make humongous investment in arts music and theatre. So it is important to work on individuals entertainment method. Shifting towards the views of agreement, that lawmakers must provide money to repair public roads. To elaborate it, this is really an essential thing to be mitigate, because several accidents are occurring due to these poor structured roads. For exemplify, in a survey of 2006 it illustrates that 50% off road disaster are causing because of roads are damaged. As a result, it is clear that it is an important problem that governance have to alleviate. Further strengthening the views, second one is to remove traffic congestion. To explain it, in new cities we can see huge traffic because there are no wider roads and bridges. Building new bridges along with underground passage so that vehicles can move efficiently, along with that it provide aid to hospital vehicles to move in fast manner and drop patients in hospital. For instance, in research Harvard University found that due to heavy traffic and small road many patients are dying in ambulance. Therefore, it is a crucial topic to be solve prominently by state officials. To conclude, although arts, music and theatres are a pragmatic method to enjoy or remove stress, public services like development better roads and remove traffic will give first preference instead of any entertainment development.
Nowadays, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities
rather
than investing on arts music and movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
. I
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the said notion due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are damaged
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in road.

To commence, with the views of disagreement that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that entertainment is the main. In other word, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hectic places for their relaxation, authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
humongous investment in arts music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to work on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
entertainment method.

Shifting towards the views of agreement, that lawmakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide money to repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. To elaborate it, this is
really
an essential thing to be
Consider using a past participle here: "mitigated".
mitigate
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several accidents are occurring due to these poor structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. For exemplify, in a survey of 2006 it illustrates that 50% off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
disaster are causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are damaged
.
As a result
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem that governance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
alleviate.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
strengthening the views, second one is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, in new cities we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and bridges. Building new bridges along with underground passage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that vehicles can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
efficiently
, along with that it provide aid to hospital vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
manner and drop patients in hospital.
For instance
, in research Harvard University found that due to heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
patients are dying in ambulance.
Therefore
, it is a crucial topic to be
Consider using a past participle here: "solved".
solve
prominently
by state officials.

To conclude
, although arts, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
are a pragmatic method to enjoy or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remove
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services like development better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
will give
first
preference
instead
of any entertainment development.
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IELTS essay The government investment in Arts music and theatre is a waste of money to stop government should invest their fund in public services in Surat do what extent do you agree and disagree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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