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The funding for the arts and arts contribution to society

The funding for the arts and arts contribution to society qagx5
People have different opinions about government’s spending redundant amount of money on the arts. Everybody has conflicting ideas about where this money should be spent. In this essay I completely disagree with the proposed argument. Firstly, the arts helps people to improve their skills and abilities and to better these abilities into the future. If arts didn’t take place in our lives today, then every person would be same, furthermore they wouldn’t have their own individual and differentiated beliefs. Secondly, if government can reserve the enough funds for the arts and artists, humans can feel comfortable about exploring their talents and improving on them. For instance, musical instruments are really expensive, that’s why spending the money on the arts could support the community with buying these devices plus the ongoing creation of new artistic outcomes. Thirdly, the arts play a big part in education too. Education is not just about the ordinary lessons we take in school, not all the students have to be successful at these common subjects. Students can be accomplished in the arts too. If governments can support it more, every student can feel more comfortable about chasing their dreams. In other words, society without creativity is empty. Of course money should be allocated for charitable institutions but funding for the arts should be separated from other budgets and continue to be allocated. In conclusion, even though it is believed by many that the government is wasting money on the arts, the arts is the heart of a society and it needs to be significantly supported.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
spending redundant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Everybody has conflicting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about where this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
. In this essay I completely disagree with the proposed argument.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities and to better these abilities into the future. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
didn’t take place in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, then every person would be same,
furthermore
they wouldn’t have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
individual and differentiated beliefs.

Secondly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can reserve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and artists, humans can feel comfortable about exploring their talents and improving on them.
For instance
, musical instruments are
really
expensive, that’s why spending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
could support the community with buying these devices plus the ongoing creation of new artistic outcomes.

Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part in education too. Education is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about the ordinary lessons we take in school, not all the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be successful at these common subjects. Students can
be accomplished
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
too. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can support it more, every student can feel more comfortable about chasing their dreams.

In other words
, society without creativity is empty.
Of course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be allocated
for charitable institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
be separated
from other budgets and continue to
be allocated
.

In conclusion
,
even though
it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is the heart of a society and it needs to be
significantly
supported.
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IELTS essay The funding for the arts and arts contribution to society

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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