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The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce."Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of

The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce. " Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of JoYGE
The president in his memo proposes the idea to install extra lighting around Amburg to fight vandalism and other crimes. One of the long-term aims is to restore neighborhoods which are declining. Although he presents some arguments to support this viewpoint, the memo indeed contains several logical flaws. First of all, the author relies on the experience of the other city which is Belleville to show the success of this idea to provide light throughout Amburg. Otherwise, the memo does not present any details on Belleville and its level of vandalism and committed crimes. Perhaps high-intensity lighting was a fruitful step, because the number of crimes and vandalism acts was low and the whole situation in Belleville was under control. Without any additional information, we can also assume that the level of criminality in Amburg is higher, thus providing lighting will not be the only measure to reduce this level. Moreover, the memo provides the information that after only a month the positive shift in the level of vandalism was shown in Belleville. In its turn, the city of Amburg has lately applied some steps to fight the current situation, thus we can conclude that more time is needed to see the progress. Moreover, more investigations need to be cared to extract more information on police patrols. First, it might be a good step to decrease the level of vandalism if the number of patrols and the area of their control are great. Also, since the chief purpose of the president is to revitalize some declining districts of the city, we need to be sure that providing high-intensity lighting will help to improve those suburbs. Perhaps, the main problem is the lack of work places or the low level of education. Considering that, investments to opening new schools for children or plans will be a more effective way to restore these areas. To sum up, based on the arguments provided in the essay, we cannot rely on the success of the idea to provide high-intensity lightening for reducing the level of vandalism and declining neighborhoods.
The president in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memo
proposes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to install extra lighting around
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amburg
to fight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
and other crimes. One of the long-term aims is to restore neighborhoods which are declining. Although he presents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments to support this viewpoint, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memo
indeed
contains several logical flaws.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the author relies on the experience of the other city which is Belleville to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the success of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to provide light throughout
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amburg
.
Otherwise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memo
does not present any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on Belleville and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
and committed crimes. Perhaps high-intensity lighting was a fruitful step,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of crimes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
acts was low and the whole situation in Belleville was under control. Without any additional information, we can
also
assume that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of criminality in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amburg
is higher,
thus
providing lighting will not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this level.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memo
provides the information that after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a month the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
shift in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
was shown
in Belleville. In its turn, the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amburg
has lately applied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to fight the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation,
thus
we can conclude that more time
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the progress.
Moreover
, more investigations need to
be cared
to extract more information on police patrols.
First
, it might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
if the number of patrols and the area of their control are great.

Also
, since the chief purpose of the president is to revitalize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
declining districts of the city, we need to be sure that providing high-intensity lighting will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
those suburbs. Perhaps, the main problem is the lack of work places or the low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of education. Considering that, investments to opening new schools for children or plans will be a more effective way to restore these areas.

To sum up, based on the arguments provided in the essay, we cannot rely on the success of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to provide high-intensity lightening for reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vandalism
and declining neighborhoods.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce. " Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce."Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of