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The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc."Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mes

The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc. " Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mes 0ABb5
In the memo, the author recommends that Mesa Foods has strong growth potential and Omni Inc. should purchase this manufacturer and focus on promoting Diabolique Salsa throughout the country. Although with listing several facts seeming convincing in the history of Mesa's market value, the author fails to provide a cogent case to let us convince that merging Mesa is a recommendable and profitable deal, which is based on the following essential explanations. To begin with, the increased sales of Diabolique Salsa in the region where it is sold does not indicate that it will gain success throughout the country. There is a strong possibility that most regions in the country might not be familiar with the so-called best-selling products. Some rural areas even might have not seen any products made by this manufacturer. It is highly necessary to pay more attention on advertisement and public image for opening up more new stores. Secondly, the assumption that Omni Inc. aims to reach 14-to-25 years olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food is open to doubt, because we are not informed that Mesa food also targets this age group and its profits attributes to this age group. Perhaps most consumers from an elder group have a habit of eating snacks. For example grandparents prepare themselves afternoon tea as supplementary nutrition or middle-aged women also enjoy some cookies and cakes during their daily chatting time. It is too narrow to concentrate on one age group. Thirdly, we only know that Diabolique Salsa is the best-selling product, which can not convince us that other food products are also profitable. If the quality of other food products is lower than the Salsa, it is not wise to purchase this manufacturer. It is too risky to invest on one product. Even though the quality is proved to be good and healthy, the taste of the food might not be welcomed through out the country. Every one has their own taste in delicious food, especially choosing the snacks they prefer. Thus, the profitability in other food products is still questionable. All in all, before merging a new company, the author needs to think twice and do a lot of research on its potential ability of development. Besides, the author also needs to consider to meet the demands of consumers'taste and build up the reputation of the company among those regions. Taking more measures to supervise the manufacturer and control the quality of their food products, which is a paramount issue to enlarge its influence and pave the road to advance further in the future.
In the memo, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
recommends that Mesa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foods
has strong growth potential and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Omni
Inc. should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
and focus on promoting
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diabolique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salsa
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Although with listing several facts seeming convincing in the history of Mesa's market value, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to provide a cogent case to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us convince that merging Mesa is a recommendable and profitable deal, which
is based
on the following essential explanations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the increased sales of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diabolique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salsa
in the region where it
is sold
does not indicate that it will gain success throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There is a strong possibility that most regions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might not be familiar with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called best-selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
rural areas even might have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
. It is
highly
necessary to pay more attention on advertisement and public image for opening up more new stores.

Secondly
, the assumption that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Omni
Inc. aims to reach 14-to-25 years olds, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that consumes the most snack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is open to doubt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are not informed that Mesa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
targets this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and its profits attributes to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. Perhaps most consumers from an elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
have a habit of eating snacks.
For example
grandparents prepare themselves afternoon tea as supplementary nutrition or middle-aged women
also
enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cookies and cakes during their daily chatting time. It is too narrow to concentrate on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group.

Thirdly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
know that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diabolique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salsa
is the best-selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which can not convince us that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
also
profitable. If the quality of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is lower than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Salsa
, it is not wise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
. It is too risky to invest on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Even though
the quality
is proved
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and healthy, the taste of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
might not
be welcomed
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Every one has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
taste in delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
especially
choosing the snacks they prefer.
Thus
, the profitability in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
still
questionable.

All in all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
merging a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
research on its potential ability of development.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
also
needs to consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of consumers'taste and build up the reputation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
among those regions. Taking more measures to supervise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
and control the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which is a paramount issue to enlarge its influence and pave the road to advance
further
in the future.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc. " Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mes

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
430 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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