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The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate Another advantage is that housing costs in

The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate Another advantage is that housing costs in QLMVX
The article said that the Clearview is a best choice for the retire life, because the natural beauty and climate. Moreover, the cheap housing costs and taxes, even the health care is good there. However, more pieces of evidence are needed to make the claim more convincing to the readers. The advantage which the author claims of the retire life in Clearview is housing costs have fallen significantly during the past year. The author believed that the costs of housing will not become higher at the future. However, it has a chance that the past year declination in the cost of the housing is because lots of company built the living house at the area, but the population isn’t that much. So the company launched a sales on the price of the housing to attract more people to live in. When more people live in those area, the price of the housing will get higher and higher. The author should provide the reason of the significant fall at the past year in order to predict the price of the housing. The article also stated that mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets and public services. However, lots of the candidates promise that they will make a big improvement in the future if the voters vote for him. While they actually become the mayor, they did not implement the promise and progress which they proclaim before the election. The promise of the mayor is not convincing to the public, author should detail the relative progress and the improvement to prove the mayor had determine to advance the city. The one of the reason why the Clearview is the top choice for people seeking the place to retire is the health care is excellent there. Since the number of physicians in the area is greater than the national average. However, what is the actually number of the physicians. If there only have three outstanding physicians in the area, but more than hundred of old patients needed to be treat. It is clearly that the resources of the medical are insufficient. The patients could not receive the good health care from the brilliant physicians. So, the author should tell us the exactly number of the physicians and the patients to prove that the health care is good enough for the retire life. To conclude, the author claims that the Clearview is the best place for the retire life. Nonetheless, the author should answer those arguments to strengthen the claim of the article.
The article said that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clearview
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best choice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the natural beauty and climate.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
and taxes, even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
there.
However
, more pieces of evidence
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
more convincing to the readers.

The advantage which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
life in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clearview
is housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
have fallen
significantly
during the past year. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
believed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of housing will not become higher at the future.
However
, it has a chance that the past year declination in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of the housing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
built the living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the population isn’t that much.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
launched a sales on the price of the housing to attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. When more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the price of the housing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher and higher. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should provide the reason of the significant fall at the past year in order to predict the price of the housing.

The article
also
stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mayor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
schools, streets and public services.
However
, lots of the candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
improvement in the future if the voters vote for him. While they actually become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mayor
, they did not implement the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
and progress which they proclaim
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the election. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
promise
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mayor
is not convincing to the public,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should detail the relative progress and the improvement to prove the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mayor
had
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "determined".
determine
to advance the city.

The one of the reason why the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clearview
is the top choice for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seeking the place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is excellent there.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physicians
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is greater than the national average.
However
, what is the actually number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physicians
. If there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have three outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physicians
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more than
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
patients needed to be
Consider using a past participle here: "treated".
treat
. It is
clearly
that the resources of the medical are insufficient. The patients could not receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
from the brilliant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physicians
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us the exactly number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physicians
and the patients to prove that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
life.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Clearview
is the best place for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retire
life. Nonetheless, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
should answer those arguments to strengthen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
of the article.
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IELTS essay The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate Another advantage is that housing costs in

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
421 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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