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The following appeared as a memorandum from the Human Resources director at Dexter Gorman Instruments a company that manufactures saxophones On this year s survey about work habits our employees tended to strongly agree with the idea that if they took les

The following appeared as a memorandum from the Human Resources director at Dexter Gorman Instruments a company that manufactures saxophones On this year s survey about work habits our employees tended to strongly agree with the idea that if they took les VB0qQ
The author recommends the employee should work for 40-hours a week allow overtime only for urgent circumstances. The author cites an internal study as an evidence to back up his recommendation. However, the results of the study are vague and therefore, the recommendation should not be accepted without thorough scrutiny. First, an internal study cited by the author points out that the employee who worked for about 48 hours a week made significantly more errors in the work than those employees who work for 40-hours a week. But, the author fails to provide any concrete number for the number of errors made by the employee. Also, whether there was only one worker in the group who made mistakes when working for 48-hours a week is not known. In case, where only one worker makes more error than all other employees working for 48-hours a week then the recommendation of the author is destined to fail. Second, it is unknown whether the employees working for 40-hours a week rectified their error after committing it? In case, they the employees working for 40-hours a week rectified their work, the internal study conducted by the author belies the true picture and therefore, the recommendation would prove to be counterproductive. Also it is unclear how much time each employee took to complete the task. It might be possible that those in the 40-hours a week group worked for longer time on certain days and did their work meticulously, as a result. Since it is unknown how much time each employee in both, 40-hours a week and 48-hours a week, took to complete the individual task. One of the possibility that employees working for 48-hours a week worked for significantly shorter time on each day through out the week. Consequently, made more errors than those employee who worked for longer hours but overall spent less time over the time period of a week. Third, no information about the sample size of internal study is given. Thus, it is imperative to know the sample size of the study and whether the subjects were representative of the population or not. If the sample size was significantly large like there were 200 subjects then recommendation may prove valuable. Conversely, if the sample size was small, for instance, 10 people then study does not necessarily represent the population and the results, in turn, would be apocryphal. Moreover, it is unclear whether the study was conducted by the disinterested member or those who conducted study had any ulterior motives? Only in the case, where study was conducted by the disinterested member and sample size was adequately large do the recommendation may hold true. But on the contrary, no such information has been provided and therefore, recommendation is unlikely to give the predicted result. It might be that those who conducted the study wanted to reduce the number of hours they spend at work and hence, rigged the result. In conclusion, since there are many questions unanswered, the recommendati
The
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author
recommends the
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employee
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
overtime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for urgent circumstances. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
cites an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as an evidence to back up his
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recommendation
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are vague and
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
without thorough scrutiny.

First
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
cited by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
points out that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked for about 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
made
significantly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to provide any concrete number for the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
Also
, whether there was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one worker in the group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
made mistakes when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
48-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
is not known. In case, where
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only
one worker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
than all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
48-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is destined
to fail.

Second, it is unknown whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
rectified their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
error
after committing it? In case, they the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
rectified their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
belies the true picture and
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
would prove to be counterproductive.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is unclear how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
took to complete the task. It might be possible that those in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
group worked for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on certain days and did their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
meticulously
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
. Since it is unknown how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
40-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
48-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
, took to complete the individual task. One of the possibility that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
48-hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
worked for
significantly
shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on each day
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Consequently
, made more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
errors
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
worked for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
overall
spent less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period of a week.

Third, no information about the
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sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
Thus
, it is imperative to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and whether the subjects were representative of the population or not. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
was
significantly
large like there were 200 subjects then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
may prove valuable.
Conversely
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
,
for instance
, 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
does not
necessarily
represent the population and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
, in turn, would be apocryphal.
Moreover
, it is unclear whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
by the disinterested member or those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
had any ulterior motives?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
in the case, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
by the disinterested member and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
size
was
adequately
large do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
may hold true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the contrary
, no such information has
been provided
and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
recommendation
is unlikely to give the predicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
. It might be that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conducted
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
they spend at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
hence
, rigged the result.

In conclusion
, since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions unanswered, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommendati
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IELTS essay The following appeared as a memorandum from the Human Resources director at Dexter Gorman Instruments a company that manufactures saxophones On this year s survey about work habits our employees tended to strongly agree with the idea that if they took les

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
497 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared as a memorandum from the Human Resources director at Dexter Gorman Instruments a company that manufactures saxophones On this year s survey about work habits our employees tended to strongly agree with the idea that if they took les