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The figure shows a cross-section of an erupting volcano

The picture below represents a cross-section of an erupting volcano and how it works and changes the environment located at its neighborhood. Firstly, the unlimited magma source which is settled under the Earth’s crust begins to evacuate from a chamber and as the magma reaches to the top enough, it chooses among the pipes (conduit or branch pipes) to exit. Following this, the volcano produces two main products which are lava flow and cloud made of ash. It’s clear that, if the magma comes out from the major vent on the summit, it creates both of the indicated objects, on the other hand, the ash cloud is not generated by magma running through the side vent. Finally, as the lava flow on the flank starts the heat-interchanging with air, it causes the volcano’s mountain to be covered by layers of lava and ash during decades or centuries. Overall, it’s a hundred percent logical to declare that a volcano revealing and formation requires a long-term period that changes its surrounding.
The picture below represents a cross-section of an erupting
volcano
and how it works and
changes
the environment located at its neighborhood.

Firstly
, the unlimited
magma
source which
is settled
under the Earth’s crust
begins
to evacuate from a chamber and as the
magma
reaches to the top
enough
, it chooses among the pipes (conduit or branch pipes) to exit.

Following this, the
volcano
produces two main products which are lava flow and cloud made of ash. It’s
clear
that, if the
magma
comes
out from the major vent on the summit, it creates both of the indicated objects,
on the other hand
, the ash cloud is not generated by
magma
running through the side vent.
Finally
, as the lava flow on the flank
starts
the heat-interchanging with air, it causes the
volcano’s
mountain to
be covered
by layers of lava and ash during decades or centuries.

Overall
, it’s a hundred percent logical to declare that a
volcano
revealing and formation requires a long-term period that
changes
its surrounding.
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IELTS essay The figure shows a cross-section of an erupting volcano

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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