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The factor influence people's personality and development

The factor influence people's personality and development rb1N6
"Nature or nurture" is a long debated topic since related subjects, genetics, psychology, behavioral science etc, have started booming last century. The argument about which one affect people more still hasn't been solved yet. While some research have found that innate characteristics have much more effect on one's personality and development, this essay would claim that acquired experiences have greater impact in one's long-term development. Earlier studies usually focused on some inborn factors when it came to what shape a man's personality or determine one's success. In deed, many of empirical study found that there was a correlation between character type and development. Whereas, the total effect of this link was not strong and sometimes mediated by environment factors. The following scholars started to take some environmental variables into consideration. Take John Watson, a well-know psychologist, for instance. A baby can be trained to be a thief, a artist, a scientist. . . . . . or anyone as long as his supporter what him to be, according to his perspectives. Although this view is a little bit arbitrary, the role of learning is being more and more significant in the latest studies. In my view, in spite of a huge impact of characteristics on one's early life stage, experiences outweigh characteristics in one's whole life. Take myself for example, i think the education i accepted is far more important than any other factors for my development. Without the learning experiences in university, i would never be myself today. In conclusion, characteristics have influence on one's early development to some extent. However, the question of what kind of person you are and how well do you live are largely up to your acquired experiences.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Nature or nurture
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is a long debated topic since related subjects, genetics, psychology, behavioral science etc, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
booming last century. The argument about which one affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more
still
hasn't
been solved
yet
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research have found that innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
have much more effect on one's personality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, this essay would claim that acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
have greater impact in one's long-term development.

Earlier studies
usually
focused on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inborn factors when it came to what shape a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's personality or determine one's success. In deed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of empirical study found that there was a correlation between character type and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Whereas, the total effect of this link was not strong and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
mediated by environment factors. The following scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental variables into consideration. Take John Watson, a well-know psychologist,
for instance
. A baby can
be trained
to be a thief,
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
artist, a scientist.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
anyone as long as his supporter what him to be, according to his perspectives. Although this view is a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
arbitrary, the role of learning is being more and more significant in the latest studies. In my view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
a huge impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
on one's early life stage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
outweigh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
in one's whole life. Take myself
for example
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the education
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than any other factors for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. Without the learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in university,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would never be myself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
have influence on one's early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
, the question of what kind of person you are and how well do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
are
largely
up to your acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
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IELTS essay The factor influence people's personality and development

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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