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Celebrity lifestyle cause problems or give more benefits

Celebrity lifestyle cause problems or give more benefits K3Wg6
Everyone ones have dream to live a life as superstar or as any big celebrities. however, being famous human can cause some troublesome as well as advantages also in my opinion living a celebrity life brings more profit though with few demerits. On the one hand, talking about problems of superstars life. Firstly having such type life gives individual less freedom because they are under the camera all time whether they are from sports or acting background. Generally media gives extra focus on famous personality's life. The reason behind this is because public want to know about their inspiration lifestyles and this type of news go in training as well. Secondly due to these reasons maintaining personal life secret is difficult for them by this sometime they frequently suffer from frustration. On the other hand individual Lives a luxury life after becoming famous there a plethora of examples of such incident whether in childhood or till adult age they were poor but after getting Fame whole story changed, they started using branded cars and reside in an elite area. moreover, celebrities become inspiration for common public figure for instance somebody wants to become a footballer So it is ubiquitous that in their mind They have fixed any particular sports personality for copying their styles while playing. In my opinion being a famous film star or sports personality helps to set an example among Society because generally in earlier They were a weak student or unsuccessful person after doing hard work they achieved their reward. Becoming of inspiration of someone provide personal satisfaction to celebrates. To recapitulate, everything in this universe has some merits and drawbacks but if you focus on positive side living a personality life gives us more Fame money and luxury lifestyle.
Everyone ones have dream to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as superstar or as any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
celebrities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
human can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troublesome
as well
as advantages
also
in my opinion living a celebrity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings more profit though with few demerits.

On the one hand, talking about problems of superstars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
having such type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives individual less freedom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are under the camera all time whether they are from sports or acting background.

Generally
media gives extra focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
personality's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The reason behind this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
public want to know about their inspiration lifestyles and this type of news go in training
as well
.
Secondly
due to these reasons maintaining personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
secret is difficult for them by this sometime they
frequently
suffer from frustration.

On the other hand
individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lives
a luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
after becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
there a plethora of examples of such incident whether in childhood or till adult age they were poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after getting Fame whole story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using branded cars and reside in an elite area.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, celebrities become inspiration for common public figure
for instance
somebody wants to become a footballer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is ubiquitous that in their mind They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
any particular sports personality for copying their styles while playing.

In my opinion being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
film star or sports personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to set an example among Society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
generally
in earlier They were a weak student or unsuccessful person after doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work they achieved their reward. Becoming of inspiration of someone provide personal satisfaction to celebrates.

To recapitulate, everything in this universe has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits and drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side living a personality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives us more Fame money and luxury lifestyle.

IELTS essay Celebrity lifestyle cause problems or give more benefits

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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