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The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. BJ7M9
Education comes from many places, not just formal schooling. People learn from their family, their friends, the television and personal experience among many other ways. Although these avenues of learning are certainly important, I believe that education within schools is much more important, as it lays the foundations for future achievement and wider success as I shall show. Firstly, formal qualifications which are earned at school are often the entry points to certain careers and jobs. In order to be a lawyer or doctor, you need to do well at school so you can go on to study for professional qualifications. Additionally, many jobs ask for basic qualifications in maths and English when you apply. Without these qualifications, an individual could become limited in what they can do with their professional lives. In addition to this, school also prepares you for relationships outside your family, which is an important aspect of life. School is a good socialisation tool because a student needs to deal with relationships on many different levels, for example with teachers and school friends, and they also need to deal with threats to happiness such as bullying or workloads. Families are important as often children gain their moral outlook and aspirational goals from their parents. However, children can succeed without a favourable family setting to a certain extent. It is doubtful whether they could succeed without schooling. In conclusion, although there are many beneficial forms of education, I believe schooling is more important than education within the family. This is because formal education gives you qualifications and socialisation that the family cannot offer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
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comes
from
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many
places, not
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just
formal schooling.
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People
learn from their
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family
, their friends, the television and personal experience among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways. Although these avenues of learning are
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, as it lays the foundations for future achievement and wider success as I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.

Firstly
, formal
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qualifications
which
are earned
at
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school
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the entry points to certain careers and jobs. In order to be a lawyer or doctor, you need to do well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can go on to study for professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
.
Additionally
,
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many
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
basic
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qualifications
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and English when you apply. Without these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
, an individual could become limited in what they can do with their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In addition
to this,
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school
also
prepares you for relationships outside your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
tool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a student needs to deal with relationships on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels,
for example
with teachers and
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school
friends, and they
also
need to deal with threats to happiness such as bullying or workloads.

Families are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
children gain their moral outlook and aspirational goals from their parents.
However
, children can succeed without a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
setting to a certain extent. It is doubtful whether they could succeed without schooling.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I believe schooling is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cannot offer.

IELTS essay The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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