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the economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the researches indicates that people in developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. what is your opinion?

the economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the researches indicates that people in developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. what is your opinion? E01B
The world is becoming richer with people having higher salaries and more comfortable mod-cons. Some people believe that this trend is conducive to people’s growing happiness in both developing and developed regions while others subscribe to the notion that it apparently sounds so, but more pains are now seen in those in the latter areas. I strongly disagree with the latter view for some reasons. Out of all the reasons for wealthy people in a developed provincial, the principal argument to clear my opinion is that the developed provincial has stable and high economic growth. This is because they have no unemployment in their nations. Furthermore, there is a high literacy rate in the advance country. This means that higher the literacy rate outcomes the educated people which leads to an increase in more technical research. For example, the USA is an advance country and has many forward technologies in different fields such as weapons, computing, smart cities, automobiles sector, etc. Moreover, these countries have higher GDP then the undergrowing countries. The reason being, they have fortune companies with higher revenue outcomes. Also, they are capable to protect country peoples from an enemy and provides enough resources to the people of their nation. In other words, due to higher GDP, they have a large budget on the big projects which help their country to increase its revenue. Besides this, they also have best-skilled peoples in all the fields. To support, it can be explained that skilled people can tend to do smarter work with time and money efficiency. An apt example of this is the computer programmer can create an automative program which results to requires less manpower in industries. To conclude, there are several reasons for happier people in developed countries and explanations for this are employment, higher GDP, skilled worker, forward technology, etc prove that this is true.
The world is becoming richer with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having higher salaries and more comfortable mod-cons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this trend is conducive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
growing happiness in both developing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
regions while others subscribe to the notion that it
apparently
sounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more pains are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in those in the latter areas. I
strongly
disagree with the latter view for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Out of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
provincial, the principal argument to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my opinion is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
provincial has stable and high economic growth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no unemployment in their nations.
Furthermore
, there is a high literacy rate in the advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This means that higher the literacy rate outcomes the educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which leads to an increase in more technical research.
For example
, the USA is an advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forward technologies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields such as weapons, computing, smart cities, automobiles sector, etc.

Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have higher GDP then the
Possible spelling mistake found.
undergrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
being, they have fortune
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with higher revenue outcomes.
Also
, they are capable to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
from an enemy and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their nation.
In other words
, due to higher GDP, they have a large budget on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
projects which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to increase its revenue.
Besides
this, they
also
have best-skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
in all the fields. To support, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can tend to do smarter work with time and money efficiency. An apt example of this is the computer programmer can create an
Possible spelling mistake found.
automative
program which results to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "require".
requires
less manpower in industries.

To conclude
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and explanations for this are employment, higher GDP, skilled worker, forward technology, etc prove that this is true.
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IELTS essay the economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the researches indicates that people in developing countries is happier than people in developed countries. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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