Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Childhood obesity is a growing public health crisis. In your opinion, what are the reasons for this and what can be done to tackle this issue

Childhood obesity is a growing public health crisis. In your opinion, what are the reasons for this and what can be done to tackle this issue PQ3g
Childhood obesity has been a major public health problem for a long time now. In this essay I will state the reasons why obesity has become a problem in our society and how to tackle this issue. There are times when we do not feel in the right mood to cook. Perhaps, we had a hard day at work and we do not have the energy to cook. So that is when we decide to order food from fast-food. They are prepared quickly, come to our house in no time and also have a great taste. However, not cooking for children and solving the problem by giving them money to order fast-food can seriously damage their health. This can result in obesity as children do not burn as many calories as they receive. A solution to this problem can be cutting down on unhealthy food and not allow children to eat fast-food more than twice a week. Secondly, it would be great if parents would register their children in activity clubs, like sports or gymnastics, in order to keep them healthy and active. This way they can burn calories and stay fit. By wanting to be in shape, they will refuse to eat fast-food themselves. To sum up, I believe that if parents take care of their children's food and make sure they stay healthy and active instead of spending their time in front of their computer or phone screen, obesity in children can be a problem left in the past.
Childhood obesity has been a major public health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In this essay I will state the reasons why obesity has become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in our society and how to tackle this issue.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when we do not feel in the right mood to cook. Perhaps, we had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
we do not have the energy to cook.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that is
when we decide to order food from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food. They
are prepared
quickly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
also
have a great taste.
However
, not cooking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by giving them money to order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food can
seriously
damage their health. This can result in obesity as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not burn as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
calories as they receive.

A solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can be cutting down on unhealthy food and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food more than twice a week.
Secondly
, it would be great if parents would register their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in activity clubs, like sports or gymnastics, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them healthy and active. This way they can burn calories and stay fit. By wanting to be in shape, they will refuse to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food themselves.

To sum up, I believe that if parents take care of their children's food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they stay healthy and active
instead
of spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of their computer or phone screen, obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the past.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Childhood obesity is a growing public health crisis. In your opinion, what are the reasons for this and what can be done to tackle this issue

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts