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The distance between the older and the younger

The distance between the older and the younger 0aQj3
The world is rapidly changing, which means that people born at separate times would be impacted by the lifestyle of each period. That causes the generation gap, which is understood as the gap between different generations. It is not difficult for us to catch a generation gap between the old and the young in social life out there. Moreover, the generation gap also exists in our own home because of difficulty understanding, less communication, and differences in lifestyle. Many factors result in generational differences. Firstly, every person has significantly different opinions. Having more experiences, parents occasionally imposed their thought on children and supposed that was the right thing. Do not let the child express their opinion, which makes a risk of high misunderstanding. Secondly, they do not spend more family time with each other. Parents are working, children are at school and occupy with doing a huge amount of homework. At weekends, the teenager prefers hanging out with friends and getting a coffee than staying at home. According to the New York Post, American families get just 37 minutes of quality time per day, perhaps they just meet face-to-face at dinner time. Finally, while the young are fond of eating fast food such as KFC, Burger King, Lotte, etc, the old lean towards healthy food. Another example is that the young love to mix and match on-trend clothes, whereas the old supposed that is an exotic style, they like wearing casual clothes than becoming a slave of fashion. Age differences make them have different perspectives as well as different lifestyles. For these reasons, the generation gap will inevitably coexist with human life. To be more open, share opinions and respect each other is the golden key to get better mutual understood. The quality time also needs to be increased in our own families, especially in the hustle and bustle of life. The more communication we use, the smaller the generation gap will be
The world is
rapidly
changing, which means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born at separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
would
be impacted
by the lifestyle of each period. That causes the generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
, which
is understood
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
generations. It is not difficult for us to catch a generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and the young in social life out there.
Moreover
, the generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
also
exists in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of difficulty understanding, less communication, and differences in lifestyle.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors result in generational differences.
Firstly
, every person has
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinions. Having more experiences, parents
occasionally
imposed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
on children and supposed that was the right thing. Do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the child express their opinion, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of high misunderstanding.
Secondly
, they do not spend more family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other. Parents are working, children are at school and occupy with doing a huge amount of homework. At weekends, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
prefers hanging out with friends and getting a coffee than staying at home. According to the New York Post, American families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
37 minutes of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
per day, perhaps they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face-to-face at dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Finally
, while the young are fond of eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food such as KFC, Burger King,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lotte
, etc, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
lean towards healthy food. Another example is that the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to mix and match on-trend clothes, whereas the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
supposed
that is
an exotic style, they like wearing casual clothes than becoming a slave of fashion. Age differences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
perspectives
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
lifestyles.

For these reasons, the generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
will
inevitably
coexist with human life. To be more open, share opinions and respect each other is the golden key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better mutual understood. The quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
also
needs to
be increased
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
families,
especially
in the hustle and bustle of life. The more communication we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, the smaller the generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be
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IELTS essay The distance between the older and the younger

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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