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The discussion about technology in education

The discussion about technology in education RRGk8
Nowadays, technologies are used widely in many sector and education is one of them. The computer is introduced by teacher to change the textbook or printed material in the classroom. In this essay, I will discuss about my point of view about this issues especially about the advantages and disadvantages of this trends. There are two advantages of using this kind of technology. The firstly, this trend of having laptop or tablets will give up-to-date information on a subject when the teacher have a conversation in the class. For example, the internet technology make its easy to access for all the new information from around the globe and its mean the student only learn new knowledge every day. The other reason is students will having more fun from the learning process because teacher show an interactive videoes about the subject in the school. On the other hand, the trend of using this technology gives negative impact to students. The children will less focus on studying because their brain produce more dopamine when they are watching a videos and its habits bring the students less interest to learn the subject materials. In addition, its is need an expensive investment to apply this technology in every school in all around country. For instance, this programs will be difficult if the schools do not have facilities to support this innovation. And it mean the goverment should give more money to build this education system in that kind of places. In conclusion, the innovation using technology in a classroom will give an interesting learning experiences for students and the teacher. However, this idea need a big investment and more regulation to reduce the effect on student behaviours.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
widely
in
Possible agreement error. The noun sector seems to be countable; consider using: "many sectors".
many sector
and education is one of them. The computer
is introduced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the textbook or printed material in the classroom. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
point of view about
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues
especially
about the advantages and disadvantages of
Did you mean "these"?
this
trends.

There are two advantages of using this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. The
firstly
, this trend of having laptop or tablets will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up-to-date information on a subject when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
a conversation in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For example
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
its easy to access for all the new information from around the globe and its mean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn new knowledge every day. The other reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will having more fun from the learning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an interactive
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "videos", the plural form of the noun 'video'?
videoes
about the subject in the school.

On the other hand
, the trend of using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The children will less focus on studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their brain produce more dopamine when they are watching a videos and its habits bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
less interest to learn the subject materials.
In addition
, its
is need
an expensive investment to apply this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in every school in all around country.
For instance
, this programs will be difficult if the schools do not have facilities to support this innovation. And it
Did you mean "means"?
mean
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more money to build this education system in that kind of places.

In conclusion
, the innovation using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in a classroom will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
an interesting learning experiences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
need a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
investment and more regulation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
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IELTS essay The discussion about technology in education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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