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Rising unemployment in India

Rising unemployment in India 0wgX5
India is one of the fastest growing economies in the world but due to its slow pace and increasing use of machines, it had led to increase in unemployment. Unemployment is defined as when an individual is not able to earn money for his living and is dependent on external help. Unemployment is among two types of labour i. e. skilled and unskilled. People who are skilled can be beneficial and can easily put to work but due to less job opportunities there is brain drain. Unskilled labour requires training which requires time and money for conducting trainings. Various factors responsible for unemployment in India are slow economic growth, more imports rather than exports, high unskilled workforce. Unemployment has significant on economy, an unemployed person would spend less as compared to an employed person, hence there would be less consumption of goods which will eventually lead to slow economic growth. The government can play a major role in curbing unemployment. New schemes can be launched which can employment to many people. Unemployment is a major issue in the developing countries like India. A strategic partnership with developed economies can help in attracting new industries which would help people getting jobs.
India is one of the fastest growing economies in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to its slow pace and increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of machines, it had led to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unemployment
is defined
as when an individual is not able to earn money for his living and is dependent on external
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Unemployment is among two types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
skilled and unskilled.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
are skilled
can be beneficial and can
easily
put to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to less job opportunities there is brain drain. Unskilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
requires training which requires time and money for conducting trainings.

Various factors responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in India are slow economic growth, more imports
rather
than exports, high unskilled workforce.

Unemployment has significant on economy, an unemployed person would spend less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to an employed person,
hence
there would be less consumption of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which will
eventually
lead to slow economic growth.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a major role in curbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. New schemes can
be launched
which can employment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Unemployment is a major issue in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like India. A strategic partnership with developed economies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in attracting new industries which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
getting jobs.
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IELTS essay Rising unemployment in India

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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