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The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. aDN9
A popular belief is that the number of murders is dropping nowadays due to the modern technologies that are easier to solve crimes. However, I agree to a limited degree with this opinion and believe that improved technologies can also increase the crimes. On the one hand, there is a fall in the rate of crimes, and the particular reason for this is advanced computers and devices. Firstly, cameras today are founded everywhere because they are important for the cops to know the faces of the criminals. Besides, cameras will aid to prevent a terrible incident to happen. For example, the security who watches the camera will comprehend when a man is covering his face with a black mask that he is intending to kill or steal, so the security will take a step to catch him before the man does what is he welling for. However, years ago cameras were not invented, as a result, people used to suffer from detecting the killers and they were depending the witnesses which were doubted. Secondly, advanced computers can locate the criminal’s situation. When a crime is done the police office will look after the killers’ car number and the computer will discover where are they exactly. Consequently, modern computers helped in solving crimes faster than before. On the other hand, developed technologies helped in rising the number of murders in the world. Criminals can reach to their victims by tracking their cell phones from new invented devices. For instance, Tom Johnson a British man who killed 4 teenagers in 2018 and he did that with the assistant of the CKQ device which follow the victims’ cell phone number. While those devices weren’t discovered in the 90s, thus, the criminals faced an issue with their murder. In conclusion, it is generally claimed that the rate of crimes is declining because of the advanced technologies such as cameras and computers. Nevertheless, I believe that technologies have negative and positive impact in the rate of crimes in this current time.
A popular belief is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of murders is dropping nowadays due to the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
that are easier to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a limited degree with this opinion and believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can
also
increase the crimes.

On the one hand, there is a fall in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and the particular reason for this
is advanced
computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are founded
everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the cops to know the faces of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
will aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a terrible incident to happen.
For example
, the security who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
will comprehend when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is covering his face with a black mask that he is intending to kill or steal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the security will take a step to catch him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
does what
Did you mean "be"?
is
he welling for.
However
, years ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
were not invented,
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to suffer from detecting the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
killers and
they
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
were depending
the witnesses which
were doubted
.
Secondly
, advanced computers can locate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal’s
situation. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is done
the police office will look after the killers’ car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
and the computer will discover where are they exactly.
Consequently
, modern computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

On the other hand
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in rising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of murders in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
can reach to their victims by tracking their cell phones from new invented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
For instance
, Tom Johnson a British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who killed 4
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
2018 and
he did that with the assistant of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
CKQ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
which follow the victims’ cell phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. While those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
weren’t discovered in the 90s,
thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
faced an issue with their murder.

In conclusion
, it is
generally
claimed that the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
and computers.
Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time.
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IELTS essay The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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