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The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? qVR7D
The increasing birth rate was considered to be one reason causing the world current problems. In fact, this rising number come from the development of technology and knowledge in various fields, which is noticeably advanced by human. However, some people claim that it is not a big issues which can be significantly affected individual living. In the following paragraph, the cause of the increased figure and some personal perspectives will be outlined before the conclusion is reached. There is no doubt that today’s world has remarkably changed. One thing that can be clearly seen is the greater influence of technology which involves to many improvements, especially with the medical progression. To illustrate, there are a number of medical equipment which are invented to help reduce the death rate of people. It also increases the infant living opportunity. Moreover, the succession in improving the quality of food can lead to a healthier life. Consequently, people will live longer. In my opinion, the growth of population number is one of the factor causing numerous problem such as a starvation in some developing countries and a serious situation about the pollution. However, I am not totally agree with this statement due to the fact that these problems are not merely comes from the high number of world citizen, but it also comes from the way we live and manage limited resources. In summary, human are facing many severe situations, which mainly come from our behaviour. Therefore, the most effective way to deal with these circumstance is to change our living.
The increasing birth rate
was considered
to be one reason causing the world
current
problems. In fact, this rising
number
come
from the development of technology and knowledge in various fields, which is
noticeably
advanced by human.
However
,
some
people
claim that it is not a
big
issues which can be
significantly
affected
individual living. In the following paragraph, the cause of the increased figure and
some
personal perspectives will
be outlined
before
the conclusion
is reached
.

There is no doubt that
today
’s world has
remarkably
changed
. One thing that can be
clearly
seen
is the greater influence of technology which involves to
many
improvements,
especially
with the medical progression. To illustrate, there are a
number
of medical equipment which
are invented
to
help
reduce
the death rate of
people
. It
also
increases the infant living opportunity.
Moreover
, the succession in improving the quality of food can lead to a healthier life.
Consequently
,
people
will
live
longer.

In my opinion, the growth of population
number
is one of the factor causing numerous problem such as a starvation in
some
developing countries
and a serious situation about the pollution.
However
, I am not
totally
agree
with this statement due to the fact that these problems are not
merely
comes
from the high
number
of world citizen,
but
it
also
comes
from the way we
live
and manage limited resources.

In summary, human are facing
many
severe situations, which
mainly
come
from our
behaviour
.
Therefore
, the most effective way to deal with these circumstance is to
change
our living.
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IELTS essay The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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