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The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? qVR7D
The increasing birth rate was considered to be one reason causing the world current problems. In fact, this rising number come from the development of technology and knowledge in various fields, which is noticeably advanced by human. However, some people claim that it is not a big issues which can be significantly affected individual living. In the following paragraph, the cause of the increased figure and some personal perspectives will be outlined before the conclusion is reached. There is no doubt that today’s world has remarkably changed. One thing that can be clearly seen is the greater influence of technology which involves to many improvements, especially with the medical progression. To illustrate, there are a number of medical equipment which are invented to help reduce the death rate of people. It also increases the infant living opportunity. Moreover, the succession in improving the quality of food can lead to a healthier life. Consequently, people will live longer. In my opinion, the growth of population number is one of the factor causing numerous problem such as a starvation in some developing countries and a serious situation about the pollution. However, I am not totally agree with this statement due to the fact that these problems are not merely comes from the high number of world citizen, but it also comes from the way we live and manage limited resources. In summary, human are facing many severe situations, which mainly come from our behaviour. Therefore, the most effective way to deal with these circumstance is to change our living.
The increasing birth rate
was considered
to be one reason causing the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problems. In fact, this rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
from the development of technology and knowledge in various fields, which is
noticeably
advanced by human.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that it is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issues which can be
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
individual living. In the following paragraph, the cause of the increased figure and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal perspectives will
be outlined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the conclusion
is reached
.

There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world has
remarkably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. One thing that can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
is the greater influence of technology which involves to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
improvements,
especially
with the medical progression. To illustrate, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of medical equipment which
are invented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the death rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
also
increases the infant living opportunity.
Moreover
, the succession in improving the quality of food can lead to a healthier life.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.

In my opinion, the growth of population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
is one of the factor causing numerous problem such as a starvation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
and a serious situation about the pollution.
However
, I am not
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to the fact that these problems are not
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of world citizen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
from the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and manage limited resources.

In summary, human are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
severe situations, which
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
come
from our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Therefore
, the most effective way to deal with these circumstance is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our living.

IELTS essay The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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