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The college years are the best time in a person's life. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Give specific reasons to support your position.

The college years are the best time in a person's life. Give specific reasons to support your position. WLEe
Collage life is experiencing new things. It is the place where we can bloom like a flower. So, yes I agree with the given statement. I would like to explain two points to explain my opinion.  Firstly, most of the friends get more connected and continued to be the best buddies for the life. As, they have less jealousy, hatred and competition. Secondly, this is the initial phase of our journey to design our goals and path. May be related to career or future goals. Our area of interests cam also be explored to groom our future. To sum up all, I personally feel that everyone learning period is best days of life which decides future and achieve better opportunities.
Collage life is experiencing new things. It is the place where we can bloom like a flower.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, yes I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
two points to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinion.  
Firstly
, most of the friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more connected and continued to be the best buddies for the life. As, they have less jealousy, hatred and competition.
Secondly
, this is the initial phase of our journey to design our goals and path. May
be related
to career or future goals. Our area of interests cam
also
be explored
to groom our future. To sum up all, I
personally
feel that everyone learning period
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
days of life which decides future and achieve better opportunities.

IELTS essay The college years are the best time in a person's life. Give specific reasons to support your position.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
120 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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