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The college year are the best time in person's lifeDo agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason's to support your opinion v.1

The college year are the best time in person's lifeDo agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason's to support your opinion v. 1
Nowadays, debates related to economic progress are constantly on the rise. Most of the governments believe that economic development is their first priority. However, some people disagree with this idea and they suggest that there are other types of progresses that are equally important for a country. Both of these views will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in this essay before drawing a reasoned conclusion. First of all, the economy of a particular nation could give us information about how advanced that country is in terms of general development. This is the major reason why many governments focus mainly on economic development. For instance, the USA ranks one in terms of GDP (Gross Domestic Product) – a measurement of economic growth – while Turkey ranks thirteenth. Compared to Turkey, USA is far more developed in the overall. On the other hand, some individuals believe that governments should focus not only on the economic development but also on the other types of progresses such as educational development. Because, they think that investments in education sector could contribute to a country’s economic growth. For example, people who get quality education will secure jobs with high salary. Which means they will pay higher taxes in return. Besides, high levels of education could increase productivity in a country which will also contribute to a country’s economic growth in the long-run. To sum up, many governments think that economic progress is their first priority, since it shows how developed a country is in general. In contrast, some people believe that there are other types of progresses and governments should be equally concerned about all. In my opinion, after a thorough analysis of both views, it is clear that governments should be concerned about on every single progress, since those progresses could be beneficial for the country’s overall growth.
Nowadays, debates related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are
constantly
on the rise. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is their
first
priority.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
disagree with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
they suggest that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
that are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Both of these views will be
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
and discussed in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasoned conclusion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the economy of a particular nation could give us information about how advanced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is in terms of general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This is the major reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
focus
mainly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
For instance
, the USA ranks one in terms of GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a measurement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
while Turkey ranks thirteenth. Compared to Turkey, USA is far more developed in the
overall
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should focus not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
such as educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that investments in education sector could contribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality education will secure jobs with high salary.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
means they will pay higher taxes in return.
Besides
, high levels of education could increase productivity in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will
also
contribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the long-run.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is their
first
priority, since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how developed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
in general
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be
equally
concerned about all. In my opinion, after a thorough analysis of both views, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
be concerned
about on every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, since those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
could be beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The college year are the best time in person's lifeDo agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason's to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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