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The charts below show the numbers of men and women attending four evening classes in a secondary school in Britain and the percentage of these in 5 different age groups. v.1

The charts below show the numbers of men and women attending four evening classes in a secondary school in Britain and the percentage of these in 5 different age groups. v. 1
In the contemporary times, an increasing number of people prefer to work for themselves instead of working for any firm because of potential income and lifestyle that self-employment provides. Though, self-employed people find significant benefits of working independently, other masses often see more advantages in working in an organization. This essay will shed light on reasons why people choose to be self-employed along with its drawbacks which workers can have. The primary reasons for self-employment can be creative thoughts and capability to work independently without supervision. Several talented people want to implement their brilliant ideas for their business and gain revenues. Moreover, they don’t have to wait for appraisals and promotions along with earning greater than those who employed in any company. In addition to these, as they are not monitored by any manager, they are liberated to choose their working hours, holidays and other plans. Therefore, a numerous people work as freelancers or embarked their startups. Despite the above assertions, there are few risks in self-employment which cannot be ignored. From a financial perspective, while working for someone, one will get a certain salary every month without any delay. Furthermore, companies provide several perks to their full-time employees such as medical insurance, paid leave, sick leaves, and pension schemes, which are not available for the self-employed. Others factor can be mental health, as working for themselves can cause stress and anxiety. For instance, a research shows that self-employed people have a higher level of stress than those who work as full-time and find difficulty in maintaining their work life. To conclude, although more and more people are becoming freelancers to choose work flexibility and other benefits. On the flip-side, these people will not have occupation guarantee and income security in long terms. Also, can face financial difficulties during hard times.
In the contemporary times, an increasing number of
people
prefer to
work
for themselves
instead
of
working
for any firm
because
of potential income and lifestyle that self-employment provides. Though, self-employed
people
find significant benefits of
working
independently
,
other
masses
often
see
more advantages in
working
in an organization. This essay will shed light on reasons why
people
choose to be self-employed along with its drawbacks which workers can have.

The primary reasons for self-employment can be creative thoughts and capability to
work
independently
without supervision. Several talented
people
want to implement their brilliant
ideas
for their business and gain revenues.
Moreover
, they don’t
have to
wait for appraisals and promotions along with earning greater than those who employed in any
company
.
In addition
to these, as they are not monitored by any manager, they
are liberated
to choose their
working
hours, holidays and
other
plans.
Therefore
, a numerous
people
work
as freelancers or embarked their startups.

Despite the above assertions, there are few
risks
in self-employment which cannot be
ignored
. From a financial perspective, while
working
for someone, one will
get
a certain salary every month without any delay.
Furthermore
,
companies
provide several perks to their full-time employees such as medical insurance, paid
leave
, sick
leaves
, and pension schemes, which are not available for the self-employed. Others factor can be mental health, as
working
for themselves can cause
stress
and anxiety.
For instance
,
a research
shows
that self-employed
people
have a higher level of
stress
than those who
work
as full-time and find difficulty in maintaining their
work
life.

To conclude
, although more and more
people
are becoming freelancers to choose
work
flexibility and
other
benefits. On the flip-side, these
people
will not have occupation guarantee and income security in long terms.
Also
, can face financial difficulties during
hard
times.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show the numbers of men and women attending four evening classes in a secondary school in Britain and the percentage of these in 5 different age groups. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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