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the Cecile line not achieve its sale targets

the Cecile line not achieve its sale targets Nwn3N
In my opinion, you know, the Cecile line not achieve its sale targets and that leads to lack of profit and if profit becomes too low. We have to take the product range out of the market and stop selling it to avoid losses. And then we need to plan effort to bring a new jewellery products to fills a gap in the market and make sure this has an obvious unique selling point like selling our product by highlighting low price, online store, monthly sales and fresh arrivals every week. Likewise, I also think we should invest more money in research for new jewellery products, that brings expansions on the new market, new customer segment. Additionally more profitability. Whenever we bring something new into our business processes, it will increase our business potential energy. Next, we need to carefully study rival products to find out why they are so successful. I think this is just as important as developing a great product. It is just because our competitor might be selling an improved version of the same product or better with building customer relationships. Then we get a better insight about our mistakes. And the last one I think market more unusual designs from young Asian and Indian designers is a good idea. Because I think the product is the problem, the jewellery is quite fashionable but not different from competing product. We need to come out with differentiated products so that they can have a unique selling point to sell better and build more customer value. Not only diverse products but also exclusive products.
In my opinion, you know, the Cecile line not achieve its sale targets and that leads to lack of profit and if profit becomes too low. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
range out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
it to avoid losses. And then we need to plan effort to bring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to fills a gap in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure this has an obvious unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
point like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by highlighting low price, online store, monthly sales and fresh arrivals every week.
Likewise
, I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we should invest more money in research for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, that brings expansions on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customer segment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
more profitability. Whenever we bring something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
into our business processes, it will increase our business potential energy.

Next
, we need to
carefully
study rival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to find out why they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
successful. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as developing a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our competitor might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
version of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or better with building customer relationships. Then we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better insight about our mistakes. And the last one I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
more unusual designs from young Asian and Indian designers is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is the problem, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
is quite fashionable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from competing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. We need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out with differentiated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selling
point to sell better and build more customer value. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
exclusive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay the Cecile line not achieve its sale targets

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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