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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

It is a known fact that the entertainment industry pays a lot of money to their talents such as film stars, pop musicians or sport stars. In my personal perspective, the high salary on these people are justified since they amass a huge number of paying audience on the entertainment that they offer. However, I firmly believe that other jobs should also be paid well, such as the health care sector. Entertainers are famously known to generate large number of fans due to their exposure on medias. This, in turn, allows them to have bigger platforms that increase their value. For example, entertainers are paid well by companies, especially in advertisments and promotions, because they increase the value of their market. In the same way, pop musicians create music and sell them on the market, while generating hundreds and thousands of money, due to popular demand. On the other hand, some jobs, such as nurses and medtechs, are paid very little despite of their undeniable contribution to the health care sector. It is known that nurses and medtechs work on long hours and gruelling night shifts without proper compensation and benefits. For instance, in the Philippines, hospital institutions force their health workers to work overtime without pay. In addition to that, the pandemic exposed nurses and medtechs to health risk. Nevertheless, hospital administrations failed to provide hazard pays. In conclusion, entertainers have the right to receive such income because of their mass influence and popularity as a result of their charisma and talent. However, workers from other sectors should also be credited with high compensation because of their contribution to the health and wellness of many people.
It is a known fact that the entertainment industry pays
a lot of
money to their talents such as film stars, pop musicians or sport stars. In my personal perspective, the high salary on these
people
are justified
since they amass a huge number of paying audience on the entertainment that they offer.
However
, I
firmly
believe that other jobs should
also
be paid
well, such as the
health
care sector.

Entertainers are
famously
known to generate large number of fans due to their exposure on medias. This, in turn,
allows
them to have bigger platforms that increase their value.
For example
, entertainers
are paid
well by
companies
,
especially
in
advertisments
and promotions,
because
they increase the value of their market.
In the same way
, pop musicians create music and sell them on the market, while generating hundreds and thousands of money, due to popular demand.

On the other hand
,
some
jobs, such as nurses and
medtechs
,
are paid
very
little
despite of
their undeniable contribution to the
health
care sector. It
is known
that nurses and
medtechs
work on long hours and
gruelling
night shifts without proper compensation and benefits.
For instance
, in the Philippines, hospital institutions force their
health
workers to work overtime without pay.
In addition
to that, the pandemic exposed nurses and
medtechs
to
health
risk
.
Nevertheless
, hospital administrations failed to provide hazard pays.

In conclusion
, entertainers have the right to receive such income
because
of their mass influence and popularity
as a result
of their charisma and talent.
However
, workers from other sectors should
also
be credited
with high compensation
because
of their contribution to the
health
and wellness of
many
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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