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The best way to reduce crime among young people to teach parents cool parenting skills . To what extent do you agree with this statement?

The best way to reduce crime among young people to teach parents cool parenting skills. qVR1E
It has been considered that crime rate is booming day by day among young people and some individuals claim that this problem can alleviate by parents with cool parenting lessons. This essay intends to elaborate why I strongly against with this statement and Why cool parenting skills is not the best way in subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are some other methods to root out the crime level in society. Firstly, it is omniscient that majority of merely illiteracy People commit criminal activities owing to this they have no knowledge about right and wrong thins during this they do follow incorrect path. For example, a survey was conducted that approximately 65% children are doing anti-social activities which lead to lack education and other knowledge. Therefore, ministry ought to provide good educational amenities for students where learners can learn why do crime is awful for everyone. They can also gain knowledge about academic domain and ethical values from experience staff. Consequently, if students stay busy in studying then they don't commit crime due to this, the level of illegal activities are alleviate. Probing further, during the rising inflation both parents have not quite time for their children. They cannot teach good life lessons because they always do busy in their work place for earning money. For instance, in Thailand, adult individuals have to work hard because cost of living is too high. As a result, whose kind children become offense and they are deprived form delightful skills which put detrimental influence among life of adolescents. Hence, cool parenting way is not suitable for reducing the level of crime. Moreover, if both government and society organize motivation al seminars and map out harder law then youth can aware towards right path. Lastly, with the assit of authority and community the illegal rate would reduce. To conclude, I think nowadays both parents are not taking time to their children due to hectic schedule. So, the other methods such as good study system and motivational programs can solve the problem of crime among young masses.
It has
been considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is booming day by day among young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals claim that this problem can alleviate by parents with cool parenting lessons. This essay intends to elaborate why I
strongly
against with this statement and Why cool parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is not the best way in subsequent paragraphs.

To embark with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other methods to root out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level in society.
Firstly
, it is omniscient that majority of
merely
illiteracy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
commit criminal activities owing to this they have no knowledge about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thins during this they do follow incorrect path.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
that approximately 65%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are doing anti-social activities which lead to lack education and other knowledge.
Therefore
, ministry ought to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational amenities for students where learners can learn why do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is awful for everyone. They can
also
gain knowledge about academic domain and ethical values from experience staff.
Consequently
, if students stay busy in studying then they don't commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to this, the level of illegal activities are
Consider using a past participle here: "alleviated".
alleviate
.

Probing
further
, during the rising inflation both parents have not quite time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They cannot teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always do busy in their work place for earning money.
For instance
, in Thailand, adult individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cost of living is too high.
As a result
, whose kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
offense and
they
are deprived
form delightful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which put detrimental influence among life of adolescents.
Hence
, cool parenting way is not suitable for reducing the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Moreover
, if both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and society organize motivation
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
seminars and map out harder law then youth can aware towards right path.
Lastly
, with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
assit
of authority and community the illegal rate would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
nowadays both parents are not taking time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to hectic schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the other methods such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
study system and motivational programs can solve the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among young masses.
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IELTS essay The best way to reduce crime among young people to teach parents cool parenting skills.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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