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the benefits of using the popular advice

the benefits of using the popular advice Nwdom
the benefits of using the popular advice is a widely debated topic. Some insist that this is a good thing to help people can connect each other. Still another segment of the population hold the position that Internet will make people are alone and separated from others. I concur that the disavantages if Internet, which is very harmful if people don't know to use. In today's the use of Internet increase significantly in the world. Therefore, many applications o phone and computer, that are use alot by members in the earth. For example, Facebokk, Instagram, or Zalo, all of these are very useful to creat many relationships, and make many friends. Moreover, people can reduce stress after hard working day by interesting games, such as free fire, arena of valor or LOL, more and more. On the other hand, I believe that it is dangerous imensly for people if we do not know use it. The Internet is a popular advice. However, if people play video game more than 180 minutes, they can be get sick, or short-slight. In addition, the post on INternet canmake people more isolated, because it is a outrage for them. To conclude, althouge it is often arguued that Internet is very useful for people, and make them connect together, I maintain that the use of Internet is more dangerouseis essential in the modern world
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
benefits of using the popular advice is a
widely
debated topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
insist that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect each other.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
another segment of the population hold the position that Internet will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are alone and separated from others. I concur that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
disavantages
if Internet, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't know to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Internet increase
significantly
in the world.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications o phone and computer, that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
by members in the earth.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Facebokk
, Instagram, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zalo
, all of these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relationships, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
day by interesting games, such as free fire, arena of valor or LOL, more and more.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
imensly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if we do not know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. The Internet is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "popular advice".
a popular advice
.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play video game more than 180 minutes, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick, or short-slight.
In addition
, the post on
Possible spelling mistake found.
INternet
Possible spelling mistake found.
canmake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more isolated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
outrage for them.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
althouge
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguued
that Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them connect together, I maintain that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Internet is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangerouseis
essential in the modern world
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IELTS essay the benefits of using the popular advice

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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