Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In today's society young people in particular follow the lives of their favourite celebrities. Occasionally, celebrities make controversial comments or commit immoral, sometimes even criminal acts, and this sends a message to fans. Do you think celebrities have a responsibility to act as role model for their fans?

In today's society young people in particular follow the lives of their favourite celebrities. Occasionally, celebrities make controversial comments or commit immoral, sometimes even criminal acts, and this sends a message to fans. Do you think celebrities have a responsibility to act as role model for their fans? XEwxY
The society is developing from day by day and come along with it is the change of models of people who they admire. There are myriad of celebrities who have been followed the lives and they have affected a lot in the society, especially with the young generation and they need to have responsibility to act as role model of their fans. The first reason for it is that the celebrities have significant influence to the society. Many people, especially the adults who do not become mature enough often follow and imitate the behaviour of famous people. If they mimic the celebrities who are called the gangster of the internet, they will be affected badly to their behaviour. They will become ruder and will be looked down on by many people surround them who have well-educated. For instance, Thanh who is the streamer on YouTube has many subscribers, although he behaves badly and sometimes does some criminal acts. It has affected a lot in the young generation. The second reason is that they will make many people have a wrong way of thinking if they do not act as role models. Many celebrities, especially people who often show their glamour have been criticized a lot in the social networks. They will make their fans think that they can be rich and glamorous like them and become lazy and also do not have any huge contribution to the society. As an example, Mr. Beast, who is really famous on YouTube because of his glamour make many fans of him think that they can be rich or will be helped by him and become lazy. In conclusion, celebrities need to act as role models for their fans. It also needs the government to impose the laws to change the acts of the celebrities for a better society
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is developing from day by day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they admire. There are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been followed
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
a lot in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
especially
with the young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generation and
they need to have responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
as role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
of their fans. The
first
reason for it is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have significant influence to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
follow and imitate the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If they mimic the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are called
the gangster of the internet, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. They will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
ruder and will
be looked
down on by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surround them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have well-educated.
For instance
, Thanh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is the streamer on YouTube has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subscribers, although he behaves
badly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
a lot in the young generation. The second reason is that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way of thinking if they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
as role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their glamour have
been criticized
a lot in the social networks. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can be rich and glamorous like them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
lazy and
also
do not have any huge contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. As an example, Mr. Beast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
on YouTube
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his glamour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fans of him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can be rich or will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by him and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
lazy.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
act
as role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
for their fans. It
also
needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to impose the laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
for a better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In today's society young people in particular follow the lives of their favourite celebrities. Occasionally, celebrities make controversial comments or commit immoral, sometimes even criminal acts, and this sends a message to fans. Do you think celebrities have a responsibility to act as role model for their fans?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts