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Several people are of the belief that there should exist fixed punishments for each type of crime, however, many also think otherwise.

Several people are of the belief that there should exist fixed punishments for each type of crime, however, many also think otherwise. 36KJ
Several people are of the belief that there should exist fixed punishments for each type of crime, however, many also think otherwise. The latter believe that factors such as circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for commiting one are crucial. I am of the view that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime since it would bring down the crime rate significantly and ensure the emergence of a more peaceful society and developed society. Firstly, today’s world is a violent thereby, law enforcement is required to set strict rules by which the citizens should abide by, contrary to which strong and suitable punishments must be brought upon the guilty. This measure is essential to ensure a much more peaceful society. For instance, a person has commmited murder due to a personal grievance and another has commited the same crime due to a psychological problem. Circumstances may be different, however, the end result is the same which is, loss of human life. The proposed system would ensure that other, peaceful courses are taken rather than resorting to violence. Secondly, it will ensure safety of the citizens. Safety at the place of work from illegal actions, at home from domestic abuse and so on. Due to this, the population can focus purely on their occupations and hence, would drastically accelerate the development of the country. Such developments may lead to alleviation of major problems such as poverty and unemployment since it would create new job opportunities in the developing sectors. To exemplify, consider a third world country suffering from the above stated problems. It could greatly benefit from such an arrangement and may even start contributing on a global level. In conclusion, I vehemently agree with the former view that is…. . . In comparison, even though, this being a more objective and stricter approach than its counterpart, it is what the world is in need as of now.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the belief that there should exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishments for each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
otherwise
. The latter believe that factors such as circumstances of an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the motivation for
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
one are crucial. I am of the view that there should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishments for each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
since it would bring down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
significantly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
the emergence of a more peaceful society and developed society.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is a violent thereby, law enforcement
is required
to set strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by which the citizens should abide by, contrary to which strong and suitable punishments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be brought
upon the guilty. This measure is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
a much more peaceful society.
For instance
, a person has
Possible spelling mistake found.
commmited
murder due to a personal grievance and another has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
due to a psychological problem. Circumstances may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
however
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result is the same which is, loss of human life. The proposed system would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
that other, peaceful courses
are taken
rather
than resorting to violence.

Secondly
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
safety of the citizens. Safety at the place of work from illegal actions, at home from domestic abuse and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Due to this, the population can focus
purely
on their occupations and
hence
, would
drastically
accelerate the development of the country. Such developments may lead to alleviation of major problems such as poverty and unemployment since it would create new job opportunities in the developing sectors. To exemplify, consider a third world country suffering from the above stated problems. It could
greatly
benefit from such an arrangement and may even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
contributing on a global level.

In conclusion
, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view
that is
….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In comparison
,
even though
, this being a more objective and stricter approach than its counterpart, it is what the world is in need as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Several people are of the belief that there should exist fixed punishments for each type of crime, however, many also think otherwise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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