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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 0R1q
It could be argued that people's average health status is expected to deteriorate in the future, compared to how it is at present. Personally, I disagree with this statement, due to my firm belief that modern technology and the increasing attention given to the public's health by countries are bound to play an important role in the improvement of people's health in the future. The first reason is that our medical technology is advancing at an ever high level, for which the cures and vaccinations for a number of diseases have been found. Thanks to the scientists' endeavours, people contracting perilous diseases like HIV/AIDS, which used to be called deadly diseases, now may live in pretty good health if the doctors' prescription is carefully followed. It is inevitable that some diseases lie ahead of us, but the fact that our accomplished scientists have found a way to cure such pandemics and vaccinate the population like Covid-19 and Ebola bring light to our future when no diseases are incurable and humans' health is protected to the best. My second argument is that countries around the world are paying more attention to their citizens' health, which assures a healthier world population in the future. Countries in various parts of the world have been inflicted by long-lasting wars, and they couldn't afford to provide people with adequate medical facilities. Take Vietnam as an example, about three decades ago, millions of people used to live below the poverty line with no decent meals, let alone they have enough money for luxurious health services like regular medical check-ups. Fortunately, as a result of globalisation, an increasing number of underdeveloped countries like Vietnam have become middle-income countries, which means that more money, invested by both the local government and international organisations, has been given to the medicine. The same trend is expected to continue in the future and the world's health status will be higher. In conclusion, I think that the public's health standard is to increase in the long run, thanks to the advanced medical technology and the countries' increasing attention to it.
It could
be argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to deteriorate in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, compared to how it is at present.
Personally
, I disagree with this statement, due to my firm belief that modern technology and the increasing attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the public's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are bound
to play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the improvement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the future.

The
first
reason is that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technology is advancing at an ever high level, for which the cures and vaccinations for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
have
been found
. Thanks to the scientists'
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contracting perilous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like HIV/AIDS, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be called
deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in pretty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
if the doctors' prescription is
carefully
followed. It is inevitable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
lie ahead of us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fact that our accomplished scientists have found a way to cure such pandemics and vaccinate the population like Covid-19 and Ebola bring light to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
when no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are incurable and humans'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is protected
to the best.

My second argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world are paying more attention to their citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, which assures a healthier world population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
in various parts of the world have
been inflicted
by long-lasting wars, and they couldn't afford to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities. Take Vietnam as an example, about three decades ago, millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
below the poverty line with no decent meals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services like regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-ups.
Fortunately
,
as a result
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, an increasing number of underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Vietnam have become middle-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which means that more money, invested by both the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the medicine. The same trend is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
status will be higher.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the public's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
standard is to increase in the long run, thanks to the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technology and the countries' increasing attention to it.
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IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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