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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement? 0QMn
Some people support that opinion that the average standard of people's health is possibly lower in the future than it is nowadays. This essay completely disagrees with the given statement. I believe that through advancements in technology and medical care as well as in food variety the average health will likely be higher than it is now. Firstly, the technology used in the health sector is continuously improving. Therefore, it is rather likely that in the coming years more research will lead to many helpful new discoveries that significantly improve everyone's health. As an example, up until the previous year the use of mRNA for vaccine was never commonly used and is now helping to easen the confinements of COVID-19 and bring back life to normal. Secondly, in the recent year we saw a rise of healthier food and a reduction in the consumption of junk food. The change of appetite for many societies and a more enviromental mindset helps to create completely new recipes and dishes. As an example, since less than a decade more vegan and plant-based products are starting to hit the shelves in the supermarkets and allow the consumer to reduce their meat consumption and therefore obtain various health benefits. Several studies have shown that many vegan products are even superior to their meat-based counterpart. In conclusion, it is likely that the health of an ordinary individual is likely to increase from improved medical care as well as healthier food products. Thats why i believe that the average standard of people's health will be higher than it is now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support that opinion that the average standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
possibly
lower in the future than it is nowadays. This essay completely disagrees with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. I believe that through advancements in technology and medical care
as well
as in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
variety the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
be higher than it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Firstly
, the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector is
continuously
improving.
Therefore
, it is
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
that in the coming years more research will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
helpful new discoveries that
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. As an example, up until the previous year the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mRNA for vaccine was never
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
helping to
Possible spelling mistake found.
easen
the confinements of COVID-19 and bring back life to normal.

Secondly
, in the recent year we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rise of healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and a reduction in the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of appetite for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies and a more
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviromental
mindset
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to create completely new recipes and dishes. As an example, since less than a decade more vegan and plant-based products are starting to hit the shelves in the supermarkets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their meat consumption and
therefore
obtain various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits. Several studies have shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vegan products are even superior to their meat-based counterpart.

In conclusion
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of an ordinary individual is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to increase from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
medical care
as well
as healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that the average standard of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be higher than it is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
now
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IELTS essay The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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