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the argument between credit card and money usage in payment method

The world has been revolving into the high technology era, carries its own features to catch up with the current condition. Many sectors are getting the impacts of this digitalization, foremost in economy and business fields. The rapid change in payment methods from physical money to cashless has evoked a heated argument in society. The practical people who support the cashless society and the conservative ones who still believe everything in the physical form of money. In my opinion, both of them have their own pros and cons in choosing each side. Credit card as a new method of cashless payment becomes a trend, especially in online purchasing. Yes, it is simple and practical, but the danger that lurks for the consumer is data stealing by an irresponsible party. Scam, hacking, phishing, and other frauds are haunting them down whom have to collect their personal data to the companies as part of payment and confirmation order. In spite, many companies and businesses have tackled down these issues by hiring a security company and government to protect their customer data. This drawback of credit cards in safety point is a major reason for most people staying used the physical money. As they believe rather than lose their all savings, it is way better to do more hustle with the payment method. Yet, these people have to struggle to provide cash on hand anytime and anywhere they go which is quite intricated. Furthermore, many businesses and companies who sell their goods online do not accept cash anymore. They already replaced it with online payments such as PayPal, credit or debit cards, and other cashless payments. In a nutshell, people have to follow the trend and move to a credit card because it is better, simpler, and much safer these days
The world has been revolving into the high technology era, carries its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
features to catch up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
sectors are getting the impacts of this digitalization, foremost in economy and business fields. The rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
methods from physical money to cashless has evoked a heated argument in society. The practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who support the cashless society and the conservative ones who
still
believe everything in the physical form of money. In my opinion, both of them have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons in choosing each side.

Credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
as a new method of cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
becomes a trend,
especially
in online purchasing. Yes, it is simple and practical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that lurks for the consumer is data stealing by an irresponsible party. Scam, hacking, phishing, and other frauds are haunting them down whom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
collect their personal data to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
and confirmation order. In spite,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and businesses have tackled down these issues by hiring a security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to protect their customer data.

This drawback of credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
in safety point is a major reason for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
staying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the physical money. As they believe
rather
than lose their all savings, it is way better to do more hustle with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
method.
Yet
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle to provide cash on hand anytime and anywhere they go which is quite
Possible spelling mistake found.
intricated
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businesses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who sell their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
online do not accept cash anymore. They already replaced it with online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
such as PayPal, credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
, and other cashless payments.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the trend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is better, simpler, and much safer these days
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IELTS essay the argument between credit card and money usage in payment method

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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