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the annual average GDP growth in domestic

the annual average GDP growth in domestic YweV5
The bar chart provides information on the annual average GDP growth in domestic products in three different types of region: wealthy, globaliser and non-globaliser countries from 1960 to 1990. Overall, It can be seen that there was a gradual downward trend in the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries and that of globalizers followed a contrasting trend. If we look at the average annual gross domestic product prosperity of wealthy countries, it started at merely over 4. 5%, which meant that it was the highest percent among 3 types of countries. After that, the figure fell down steadily to approximately 3. 0% in the 1970s and continuously decreased by approximately 1. 0% in the 1990s. By contrast, the average domestic product prosperity of globalizers began at the lowest position compared with 2 remaining types of countries, at around 15% in the 1960s. On the contrary, in the last three period of time, the figure increased significantly and reached a high of nearly 5. 0% in the 1990s. As regards non-globalizers, there was a slight increase in the two first periods of time, from nearly 2. 5% in the 1960s to just over 3. 0% in the 1970s. Following this the figure dropped considerably, making it slightly lower than the others, roughly 1. 0% in the 1980s and around 1. 5% in the 1990s.
The bar chart provides information on the annual
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average
GDP growth in
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domestic
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products
in three
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different
types of region: wealthy,
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globaliser
and
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non-globaliser
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countries
from 1960 to 1990.

Overall
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was a gradual downward trend in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in wealthy
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countries
and that of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalizer' and 'globaliser') within a single text.
globalizers
followed a contrasting trend.

If we look at the
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average
annual gross
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domestic
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product
prosperity of wealthy
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countries
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at
merely
over 4. 5%, which meant that it was the highest percent among 3 types of
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countries
. After that, the figure fell down
steadily
to approximately 3. 0% in the 1970s and
continuously
decreased by approximately 1. 0% in the 1990s. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
prosperity of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('globalizer' and 'globaliser') within a single text.
globalizers
began at the lowest position compared with 2 remaining types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, at around 15% in the 1960s.
On the contrary
, in the last three period of time, the figure increased
significantly
and reached a high of
nearly
5. 0% in the 1990s.

As regards
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-globalizers
, there was a slight increase in the two
first
periods of time, from
nearly
2. 5% in the 1960s to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 3. 0% in the 1970s. Following this the figure dropped
considerably
, making it
slightly
lower than the others, roughly 1. 0% in the 1980s and around 1. 5% in the 1990s.
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IELTS essay the annual average GDP growth in domestic

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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