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The amount of time spend on sports and exercises should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Obesity is a disease and not a repercussion of binge eating especially in kids. Some are affected by being over weight due to genetic reasons but there are various factors which also contribute to children being overweight. This essay we will discuss how schools can take necessary measures to curb the ill effects of children being over weight. Schools can introduce numerous ways of tackling obesity in children right from childhood. Many schools have introduced an array of sports and extra curricular activities for children in school. But this can lead to serious repercussions if it is not followed in the right manner. It would not be the best idea to put children through robust gymnastics or sport activities. It would not only affect a child’s mental well being but they would also grow up to repulse the idea of any physical activities which would be harmful for their future. For example, survey carried by Harvard university found out that 51 percent of children repulsed the idea of physical activities in school in 2011. However, schools can introduce different approach to this problem by introducing an array of measures such as; introducing one on one sessions for inculcating healthy food habits, another way can be giving an option to children to choose between which activities they prefer such as yoga and meditation, gymnastics, dance and so on instead of putting them through mandatory extreme sports exercises. For example, International schools in Britain gave the choice of selecting physical activities to kids and saw a substantial increase in the number of participation. To conclude, schools are responsible for child’s well being and therefore must provide creative ways to tackle the problem of obesity rather than subduing them to unwilling participation in extreme sports activities.
Obesity is a disease and not a repercussion of binge eating
especially
in kids.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by being over weight due to genetic reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are various factors which
also
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being overweight. This essay we will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can take necessary measures to curb the ill effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being over weight.

Schools can introduce numerous ways of tackling obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
right from childhood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have introduced an array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this can lead to serious repercussions if it is not followed in the right manner. It would not be the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
through robust gymnastics or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect a child’s mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would
also
grow up to repulse the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of any physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which would be harmful for their future.
For example
, survey carried by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
found out that 51 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
repulsed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2011.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach to this problem by introducing an array of measures such as; introducing one on
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one session", "a session", or simply "sessions"?
one sessions
for inculcating healthy food habits, another way can be giving an option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose between which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
they prefer such as yoga and meditation, gymnastics, dance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
instead
of putting them through mandatory extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
exercises.
For example
, International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in Britain gave the choice of selecting physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to kids and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a substantial increase in the number of participation.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are responsible for child’s
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide creative ways to tackle the problem of obesity
rather
than subduing them to unwilling participation in extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay The amount of time spend on sports and exercises should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children? Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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